You've Come Too Far To Turn Back Now!

Don't blow it, your character development depends on it!

Good evening Kingdom Sisters and for any fellas that might be reading. This year has certainly been one for the books but it's not over yet. Take a look over this year and last, you must  have had to endure so many trials and came through with testimonies. I know for me personally, this year and last year was a lot so I can only imagine some of the things that you all have had to trust God through. Now, as you are examining who you were and where your mindset was last year compared to this year, you've changed a lot haven't you? Don't be so modest with this, your growth is something serious right now and you know it. Maybe you're the woman who kept herself disciplined through her abstinence journey. Maybe you're the woman who refrained from laying hands on someone who clearly tried to push old buttons. You didn't fall short in showing them if those old triggers still had a hold of you. Maybe you're that woman who finally learned how self destructive your ways truly were. Maybe you're the guy who finally decided that keeping his eyes and ears protected from provocative videos and images is still worth it. Perhaps you're the guy who saw your faults in how you treated others or saw that you needed healing from your past. Brothers and sisters, regardless of the differences that you see, you have grown quite a lot and you shouldn't brush off any form of development as a small thing. Changing your mindset, correcting yourself, noticing your toxic behaviors and or simply just responding to certain situations differently are all considered to be making BIG moves in my book. It remodels and rebuilds a better character within yourself. Now with all of this going on, the year is coming to a close and the enemy would really try to throw a couple of curve balls at you just to see if he can persuade you one last time. Maybe you are single and you've been abstaining from sex and out of the blue a whole imposter taking the form of everything that you think you want shows up. Maybe you've been staying away from masturbation and porn and all of a sudden, flashbacks of old videos pops up in your head and old urges try to surface. Whatever the case, DON'T BLOW IT! You have had to fight many unknown battles and you've been doing so well, don't give the enemy room because you are at a point where you know better and we all know that after a certain amount of times of falling, sometimes people fall and don't get back up for a very long time. Let me tell you something, you may think that laying down with that person, or watching that video, or being petty online, or telling that person off feels good but it's only a temporary feeling with long lasting scars. Don't give in, you may not be the strongest at times but you are much more capable of standing your ground because you know that Jesus died and rose again for you and you've been holding on to God tightly.

Yes, it seems unfair but God is looking at how you react.

Being completely transparent, every single believer can testify to what I am about to say. Sometimes, we want to do the very things that mean us no good. If you used to be extremely lustful, sometimes, your flesh may want to just talk to and snatch up every little thing that walks past you. If you used to indulge in selfish sin, sometimes your flesh may try to nudge you to do it again. If you have a track record of having mean clap backs and taking to the internet to be petty, your flesh may drive you to post a thing or two. Then all of a sudden you take it down because your spirit got convicted. If someone has caused you harm or did something wrong towards you in a subliminal way then your flesh may drive you to either confronting them poorly and or venting to others which could very much so turn into gossiping. All in all, all of these scenarios have one major thing in common. YOUR FLESH. If you aren't careful, you could slip up and even if you take down a petty post or you don't confront that person who did you wrong, the fact that your mind even went to posting something spiteful or talking about someone else in the first place is a HUGE RED FLAG. This is why you must always be praying and be on the lookout because the attacks of the enemy don't always LOOK like attacks. Sometimes the appearance of his attacks are disguised as counterfeit blessings. This is why you must build your relationship with God so that your discernment is on point. For the Bible says:

Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weak.

Matthew 26:41 KJV

Now let's say that you almost fell because of temptation or you almost came for someone due to subliminal shots being fired. You may want to give that person or thing every single ounce of the old you but you can't. Why because no matter how messed up that person is treating you or how awful you maybe burning to get down with the get down in your singleness, God is watching to see how you react. I am not saying that God tempts you because He doesn't and if you thought that He did then let me drop this on ya real quick sister: 

And remember when you are being tempted, do not say, "God is tempting me." God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. Temptation comes from our own desires, entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.

James 1:13-15 NLT

Now that may sting to those who have had a different way of viewing temptation and it stings for those who are right in the middle of their actions. It stings because it points your own finger to yourself. The lurking residue of your own desires still try to hang around if you aren't trying to keep yourself guarded. See the enemy can only get to you by throwing the old things at you and you make his job a whole lot easier when you don't get rid of those desires to want to go off on somebody, or that spiteful mindset, the pettiness and indulgence of gossip and or whatever it may be in your case. Don't make the enemy's job easier, make it harder. I know it can be tough to refrain from how you used to react but you have to get to a place of saying "NOPE! MY GROWTH WON'T ALLOW IT!" It all goes back to what you CHOOSE to do.

Your choices matter...

Often times we grow to be dependent on others holding our hands. There is nothing wrong with someone being there for you, it's just that you have to know that you are responsible for your actions on your own. You see people often say that others don't change because they fail to see the fault in their actions, well that's not true unless they are too far gone into their own mind. The transparent truth is that people very much know what their actions consist of, they just choose not too look at it in order to make themselves feel like they're doing some good. Our minds are so powerful that we can shift the very memory of something that took place in our past because the original memory is too gruesome or traumatic to look at. We can remember an event that actually took place but tweek it a little in our minds to make it more tolerable. People do that concerning the actions they take. They could be doing something that they know is wrong but because they are tired of being viewed as someone who can't do anything without having others come against them, in their own minds they create a version of themselves that are doing no so such harm in their actions. Thus blocking out the truth of their actions and they continue on doing what they do.

This pertains to the choices we make as people in Christ because others are watching us on the daily basis. Am I saying that you can't be yourself, no of course not, it's just that you have to learn how to use your discernment in certain scenarios. You have people who are watching you just to snatch up the very things that you've been blessed it. They want to walk in your shoes but little do they know of the hardships and sometimes unspeakable things that you've had to endure. You have people watching you simply to see if you are out doing them in any way, shape, or form and all the while, you're just fighting to get to the next day. You have people watching you who are encouraged by your story and your praise, they admire how you carry yourself in the good times and bad because you don't ever wear what you go through. Now I could write a whole week's worth of wrongs that have been done to me or list those who have come against me or write out every single slick comment that was made to me while they were kinder to whoever was around me. But I choose not to. Every time I have a bad moment or have to go through a trial, I could run to the internet with my problems but I choose not to. When you're a leader in general, you can't bleed where you lead and you may not think you are leader but when others view you as an example then you are one. Your choices of how you represent yourself matters because someone is following you either out of admiration or out of being skeptical. The skeptical may not enjoy seeing how much others truthfully love you and they're just waiting for you to fall. All in all, choose to walk and carry yourself in a way that would be pleasing to the Father!

What do you classify this year as?

As this year draws to a close, we are often seeing the cheesy memes and quotes that circle around about what the year has taught or made them. Let me ask you something, ever notice how those memes and quotes always say the same thing as the year before or they all say the most generic things? Or how what was supposed to be for this year is now something for next year? It looks good so it's shareable and likes and comments go up, nothing ever truly changes right, well I have a challenge for you. I challenge you to examine this year in it's truthful entirety and write out what this was really about for you. You'd be surprised by how different your result is from the generic quotes and memes. Now one thing I will say for myself personally, this year has seriously been a year of denial, frustrating moments, finding peace when others let you down and most of all it's been about healing from the unspeakable things and doing so by actually talking about them. I can honestly say that I have had a tough time accessing my freedom in that area and used to have so many days of being let down but once I took the necessary steps to overcome it, I became more opened and free and it's all glory to God. When it came down to healing from the unspeakable thing, I just had to talk and that may sound easy but for those who knows what it’s like to keep long lasting secrets due to shame, regret, and fear, it can be extremely uncomfortable and hard but once you release, your headspace becomes more clear. I must say that I am extremely grateful to each and every one of you who took the time to read my posts and share and to connect with The Wife Life on it's socials. Whether or not you were here in beginning in 2017 or just recently joined the family, I appreciate you and I can only hope that when you read anything that I post or write, that you know that everything is for the glory of God. It has certainly been a journey and The Wife Life is just getting started. I never thought that I would connect with you all or even have this vision grow, I am truly grateful, stay tuned because newness is about to blow right through The Wife Life all of 2020. Until next time!

As Always: Stay Blessed & Encouraged