Moms Need Jesus Too!

Motherhood: It's messy but God isn't!

Good day to you all my dear Kingdom Sisters, with all that has been going on lately, let's be honest, the worrier cloud might be trying to hover around you especially those with their own children. It's alright, as mothers, sometimes certain things seem to get the best of us and honestly it can even cause us to stumble and or even fall in our walk with Christ. Whether you have one child or multiple, you're younger or older, a new mom, or seasoned, single or married, we can all agree that motherhood is just messy ladies! Now of course those that only have one point of view of motherhood may want to argue with me on exactly how "hard" it truly is. Well, I choose to speak covering all areas and yes, I know that I won't know every single detail of certain moms because motherhood is very unique and the situations that come along with it is very unpredictable. While some people may see just another single mother, you didn't know that she was once with her child's father and never even knew that she would be doing this all on her own. While you see another working mother, you don't know that she has to do what she has to do to take care of her children alongside her spouse. While you see a first time mother saying how hard it is with only one child, you don't know that her only child is a rainbow baby after many failed attempts of trying to conceive. While you're judging a mother for having many children, you didn't know that her childhood was lonely and cold and she always dreamed of building a big family. I say all of this to say that motherhood is all over the place regardless of the situation, age, and or social status. If anything, before you judge a mother off of what you see, applaud her for what you know. It's not easy to carry children, go through major body changes, pick your confidence back up, go through extreme pain just to hop right into caring for another little one of your own without skipping a beat. Regardless of how you gave birth, when, where and how you're making it through, as a mother, you know more than anyone what it means to endure until the end. This is one of the many reasons why it's better to run to and lean on God through it all. Whether you have one or multiple, newborn twins, or talkative threenagers or unruly teens, motherhood is messy but God is still faithful to YOU!

What causes the "blind people pleaser" mindset?

I must say that if there was an elite sport in criticizing moms, people would win first prize every time in the Olympics. It's just the simple truth that is apart of any mother's "normal". It shouldn't be but it is and as much as we want others' to understand, they literally won't until they're pushing and fighting for their life trying to push a head out from between their legs or getting their stomachs cut open at the last minute. Graphic? Yes, I know and that isn't even the half of it and yet competitive mothers exist, people judging moms parenting skills arise and let's not forget that billion dollar question that everyone asks: whens the next one coming? After becoming a mother myself, I've received both GREAT and BITTER advice from those who've been in it for awhile and those who are just naturally good with children or those who think they are. There's been times where strangers would witness my son having a meltdown and suggest things that have already been covered. There's been times where my son has been making noises in a quiet setting or would be acting up in front of others and everyone would just stare. I must say that's one of the worst things you can do to an ACTIVE mother. Before I had my own, I tried my best to not stare or look towards moms struggling with their children because I remember how it was with my mom, she had a lot on her plate, 4 of us and instead of people helping, they would just stare. After becoming a mother, I can tell you that when people stare, it feels like bricks are on your back and even when you're getting on your child the way you know YOUR child will understand, the audience is still always present. With others being around you and observing you and criticizing your every move it can force your mind to make up an impossible narrative for the need to be a perfect mother. If you aren't keeping your mind covered or your confidence up in your parenting methods then you begin to think that you aren't enough according to the standards of others. This is how the "blinded people pleaser" appears within you without you even noticing. If you find yourself experiencing this, you need to know that YOU are more than enough to YOUR child/children. Also yes some advice may not always be good but don't dwell on that, TAKE IN THE ADVICE THAT COMES FROM THOSE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR LITTLE ONES. I owe a huge thank you to those who have poured genuine time, love, and advice into me when it has come to my son. When you have your first, I PROMISE YOU it doesn't matter how many or how long you've been babysitting kids, it doesn't even matter if you helped your mother tend to your siblings growing up, because THOSE THINGS CAN END WHENEVER. When you have your own child, it is so different. I can say that because I have multiple siblings and I used to babysit alot so I thought I had all I needed but here's the thing, YOUR CHILDREN COME FROM YOU. So guess what Kingdom Mama? Take the genuine advice (even the tough love) and don't fall into the mindset of needing to be perfect.

How to stay afloat to keep from drowning

Kingdom Mama, I get it, we love our children we truly do, but let's not be dishonest, there's days where we want to scream, cry, give up, or run off to a room just for the sake of gaining peace and quiet. It happens to ALL of us mothers, regardless of the social status, age, or situation. Guess what Kingdom Mama, you can't afford to allow yourself to drown even when it's so hard. Even if you've had moments of drowning, I'm sending you some virtual love even now. You CAN do this, you were BUILT for this, you are MORE THAN ENOUGH, and most importantly, God tends to His daughters even when you think He isn't thinking about you, HE IS! So as moms, how do we keep "it" together in a HEALTHY way? Here's a little something to list a few.

1. Take a deep breath and remember why you're trying so hard. (Kingdom Mama, sometimes our obvious reasons of "why" we try, sometimes flies right over our heads. We want our children to see a woman who doesn't give up, when the going gets tough, WE GET TOUGHER! Taking a moment to breathe, even during a toddler meltdown or newborn wailing, taking the time to breathe can clear your mind in the midst of it all)
2. Put your pride to the side and reach out to a friend. (As mothers, we wear many hats, personally, I would think that I always had to take care of everyone and everything around me that I held my tongue when I was the one drowning. I knew that God was covering me because it seemed as if each friend, well they're sisters to me, but each one was hitting me up and encouraging me while I was on the brink of giving up. They weren't even aware of why I was so down. How many times have you been drowning and God covered you by sending someone to encourage or contact you? Well guess what Kingdom Mama, before you even get to the point of drowning again, REACH OUT TO SOMEONE. They may not be able to take care of your kids because they have a life too but just being able to TALK IT OUT helps. Reaching out doesn't erase that Kingdom Mama strength.
3. Write down and post up your favorite scriptures around your home. In the midst of your little one(s) being too much, it's always good to be reminded of God's true and living word. I don't care if you have to look at the same scripture over and over again, retain His word and keep your mind filled with it.
4. Lay out before the Lord. Laying prostrate before the Lord takes your relationship to the next level with Him personally. It shows how much you truly need Him in your current situation and how much you submit to Him. Even if the kids are doing a lot and you can only pray in this position or cry out to Him for 2 minutes, He'll honor that time being spent! It'll also allow the Holy Spirit to reveal whatever it is that needs to be revealed to you in that moment. From experience, it's usually always something that is out of your "norm" when it comes to parenting, how your react and much more.
5. Know that God is in control, release the weight. We drown by carrying our past mistakes and mess ups into the next day and the next day and the NEXT DAY. You've got to stop doing that Kingdom Mama. Yes, maybe you yelled a little to loud at everyone in the house. Yes you might of broken down in tears in front of your kids because you're trying your best for a single mom. Yes, maybe you snapped on your spouse when they needed you because you're running low on sleep and you probably aren't being vocal on how much help you need. Release your mistakes of yesterday, embrace what happens today, refresh yourself tomorrow.

Don't stop calling on Jesus! You can do this Kingdom Mama!

I'm not saying you're always going to get it right but we as mothers know this. We know how messy it gets, how hard each day is, how lonely it can feel even if you have support or even a spouse. Regardless of how you became a mother, you have a pair of eyes who are taking in EVERY SINGLE DETAIL of what you do. They're retaining everything from when they're crawling around you to driving out your driveway. You won't always get it right and that's okay, just remind them of how to call on Jesus. Show them how tough their mama is by calling on Jesus and using the tools that God has given us to stay on the right path. Even if you're a mom who's reading this and you aren't saved and maybe someone has tried to make you feel ashamed for becoming a mother on your own or too young, I dare you to try Jesus. We all have a past, we all have habits that aren't the best but every mother knows that once you have your own, the bar is set up even higher for us to stay focused because we don't want our children to be like us. We want them to be BETTER than us! So please fellow mother, read this whenever you need to, practice staying focused on keeping afloat in the midst of this lovable mess called motherhood. You can do this, WE can do this in Jesus name!

As Always: Stay Blessed & Encouraged!