Living To Please God
Growing tired of your negative side...
but not in the way that you think. Stick with me now, you reach the point where you're tired of your own complaints, you're tired of letting yourself become frustrated, you're tired of caring too much about what people may say or think of you, & you're tired of automatically placing yourself in a "victim" mindset. You just grow out of it all, some people are probably at this point right now and there may even be some people out there who are closer to this point than they think. I have come to realize that for me personally, I've grown tired of letting old triggers and frustrations get to me because now, it's like what is the point? Of course some of you may puff out your chest and say that you've always been like that and if you're telling the truth, that's good, if you're lying to yourself, know that you are better than that! With that being said, it has taken me an extremely long time to even admit that I have finally gotten to this point. I was always quick to get frustrated with something minor but my mind made it bigger than what it was. I was quick to complain about my role or when personal justice wasn't served. I was quick to want someone to hear or see "my side" of the story in certain situations growing up, and I was always letting small triggers taint and cloud my vision of the person I was striving to be. Until recently, I just grew tired of that. Notice all of those I's, well when you truly begin to evaluate yourself and you look beyond the surface of who you truly are, especially when nobody is around, you notice that a lot of your problems and toxic behaviors come from..well..YOU! Now please don't be so quick to say that the enemy threw things at you and that's why you do what you do. Let's be honest, this is a safe space for you guys after all, sometimes..we give the enemy WAY TOO MUCH CREDIT! Now of course, there are times where major and even minor attacks are from him, it's just that we should be able to identify when it's the enemy AND when it's just us being too stubborn to adjust to what God truly wants for us! Most of the time, what He wants from us is going to come through corrections and warnings first basing on the fact of if we're actually willing to hear Him out through the Holy Spirit or not. With growing tired of your negative side, you then begin to question why does that side even exist in the first place within you? I'm not talking about the very vague moments nor am I going to sit here and say that you can just be perfect 24/7 because nobody can do that at all. I'm talking about that side of you that comes out when your back is pressed against the wall, when you don't get your way, or when you feel as though everyone is cool with everyone else but you. I'm talking about those moments where you're so focused on who's doing what to you that you don't even see how much you're hurting yourself mentally. To be so wrapped up in constantly thinking about who likes you and who doesn't is meaningless. To care about who checks in on you and who supports your every move doesn't matter. Why? Because when you pass on and it comes to the point where it's just you and God, you'll truly see how much time you wasted worrying about the wrong things. You see, I have always been interested in those who would say they wouldn't care about a certain person or situation but every time you talked to them, they were the ones bringing it up or even posting about it. Have you ever noticed that the people who truly don't care don't even waste their breath on the matter? They don't even have the itch to run to the internet for painfully obvious statuses. You see, we've all have had our moments of claiming not to care about something but behind closed doors, we were going in, whether it had been online, in our thoughts, or talking about it. Am I saying that you should just strive to just be the perfect peach, or course not, you should be willing to shift your mindset from things like this. In the end it of it all, you don't want to be the one trying to explain to God that you didn't pray for that person when He instructed you to do so because they don't like you. You don't want to be the one stuttering before Him saying that you didn't forgive someone because they never told the truth about you to other people. You don't want to be the one trying to explain to a Holy God why you were out of position...
Okay..so this negative side...how do I get rid of it?
Well dear brothers and sisters, honestly it begins in your mind. You have to be willing to look at that part of you in it's entirety. It can be painful and if you're serious about this, it can AND WILL be horrifying to look at in a sense. Perfect example, you know how after you've come to Christ and you drop all of the mess that you used to do and after awhile something pops up from your past and it's like a bad taste is in your mouth because you couldn't believe that's who you used to be? That's how it's going to be when you truly examine yourself. Now again family, let's be honest, this is a safe space... NONE OF US LIKES TO VIEW OURSELVES AS THE BAD GUY! Sure, we like to say that people always view us that way, it's easier, and the flesh likes that. If you don't believe me, take it from me, I used to be that person that always just knew someone had an issue with me, I boasted about how others would treat me wrong and all of that. I've been there and I have no problem admitting to it. The greatest thing about God's love though is that it comes in many forms and honestly when the correction comes your way through Him, then you know how truly loved you are. It's almost like with friends. Some people cater to the wrong ones and get drained in the process. Stick with me, if there's a friend who's always sucking up to you and telling you that you're always right and you're never wrong and they even go against their own common sense to be close to you, that's not a real friend, and if you were a manipulative person, 10/10 you have them wrapped around your finger and in their eyes you can do no wrong. This is actually an extremely toxic form of companionship and people dust it under the rug because it's hard to look at. How do I know this? How can I even speak on this? Because I was once a people pleaser. Now then on the other hand, you have the obsessive friend who can have all of those characteristics but let's say that this time you are the genuine person but because of how others love you, they just have to make it seem or feel like they're close to you too. This is extremely toxic for them because in their minds they think that if they just kiss up to you, then you'll be super close to each other but in the end they're only draining themselves. Lastly but not least, you have the honest friend, the one who may listen to a vent session or two but because of them choosing to walk in God for real, they'll direct you to forgive someone who specifically lied to others to soil their image of you. They'll tell you the truth about yourself and it won't be in a bitter way, they'll tell you the truth if what you did or said was right or wrong. They won't kiss up to you to appear close to you but they'll actually take the time to get to know you for themselves instead of just going off of what someone else told them about you. Many people miss Godly connections with you just because of what someone else told them about you. Once you get to the place of growing tired of the negative side, you won't be pressed to prove your name. You won't even be in the mindset of thinking about it. Someone can take the easy way out and say that it sounds too high and mighty but in reality it's just the truth. It's sad that the truth is looked down upon as being "stuck up" or a "hater." God wants us to live out the truth and even more so, when you aren't pressed to prove your name or your side of something, you won't even be concerned with any of it because at the end of the day GOD SEES EVERYTHING! When you finally realize that and truly stick to switching your mindset, you'll understand that there are far more important things to be focused on. With switching your mindset, it comes with you actually being able to say "okay so what's important and what's not?" We truthfully aren't in this life for long and when we pass on and get face to face with the Father, we all know that we want to go to heaven but not all of us are willing to live holy. Some people only think that living holy pertains to staying away from sexual sin, DON'T GET ME WRONG THAT'S A MAJOR KEY, it's just not the only one and we have to remember that. Living holy also means to be truthful to others even when it's hard, being willing to do what God told you to do even when nobody believes in you, keeping your standards secured by His word and choosing to carry yourself in a way that's pleasing to Him. Of course you may be thinking that anyone can pretend to walk in holiness and that's fine for them, that's between them and God. Now with you, if you want to change for real, you're going to have to be the definition of BOLD when it comes to living holy EVEN WHEN NOBODY IS AROUND!
Don't worry about what they think, lean on what God KNOWS!
Now I'm telling you this right now so that you can be prepared.You cannot please everyone, even when you are a genuine person, that doesn't mean you should stop being genuine just because certain people aren't fond of you. Personally, I had a nasty habit of always asking God "why me." You see, as most of you may know through reading the blog, I've had my times of being bullied, being the bully, being petty, and much more so I would use myself as an example over and over again even when I didn't want to because like I said, our past leaves a bad taste in our mouths. With going through being mean for no reason, always looking down on someone else just because it was done to me, looking back, I can truly say it brought me no joy, it didn't fulfill any of my needs that I thought I had at the time and further more it was exhausting keeping up with that because I was only acting this way because I wasn't healed from my own pain. Now people can excuse this as oh well we were all young and just blame it on age but I don't believe in that. I can't stand the posts that say "at a certain age you don't care for drama and all that" I can't stand those because 13-15 years olds can be just as bad with gossiping and lying and manipulation as 20-25 years olds and 45-60 year olds. There is no age limit to doing wrong, once you know better, you're guilty and we are all guilty but we don't have to stay that way. Now then with being a genuine person, it can be hard. Not the genuine part, when you truly care about others, it shows. It can be hard to suffer as one though. It's because we as a people are never satisfied honestly and that's the word of God (check out the first chapter of Ecclesiastes) What I mean by this is, and keep in mind that I've been on both sides, no matter how you are, people will find something wrong with you because it's you. I was a young teen when I gave my life to Christ , it was in the back of a Little Caesars store and I finally felt apart of Him, I knew I needed Him. People might've just seen a young girl but I knew what I used to do and how I was. You see one of the areas was depression and I was one of the ones running to social media and dumping all of my sorrow all online and people would gravitate towards that and even tried to manipulate my emotions for their personal gain. Thus birthing the people pleaser within me at the time. I always needed validation and approval from people who I thought cared about me but they only cared about what I could do for them. Now fast forward to today, I am more aware of what I allow on my socials and guess what people can and have said that "oh you think you high and mighty" well actually no. You see, when you've been on both sides, you know how much of an impact you have on others. When I was just venting and airing out my mess online, it only attracted those who wanted to use me, stay in that mindset, and even say "I knew you'd fail" Some people are just dying for you to screw up. Then you have those who say that you think you're all that just because you don't want post your real moments. But being genuine and encouraging is real, and 10/10 I'm always using my trials and storms in my writing because that's how God uses it, and I find myself being healed and even corrected through it. But of course there's privacy as well. When did privacy get so looked down upon? It's like people only glorify privacy when a relationship or money is going on. Now stick with me through this, suffering as a genuine person also sucks because people will disconnect from you just because of what someone said. They won't even come to you. But let me let you in on something.. THAT IS OKAY! If it takes someone whispering to someone else about who you are for them to disconnect from you, then they may be in a mindset that can be manipulated easily. I have had that mindset before, it's tough getting out of but God! Suffering as a genuine person is hard especially when you get cut off for who knows why but those same people are still connected to those who truly love you. I know what I am about to say is hard but you'll access your freedom. Forgive them and move on loves. It doesn't matter if certain people never talk to you again, it doesn't matter if you got cut off for something you didn't even do, forgive them and move on. And please, please, please, don't stop being a genuine person. We as people are never satisfied so even when you choose boldly to walk, talk, and live a certain way, people aren't going to think you're trying your best to live holy, they're going to try to call you everything but a child of God and that's okay because your track record OUTWEIGHS their words. God knows the truth in it's ENTIRETY.
Some things just aren't worth the time, live to please God..
As I draw to a close, I genuinely hope that you will be able to truly evaluate yourself on the daily basis. Even if what you find out about yourself isn't pretty, God has a way of changing our names and wiping our slates clean, we just have to be willing to maintain our holiness and new mindsets. All in all, at the end of the day, living each day to please God is extremely important. I have found myself being more concerned with how He views me instead of how others do. Now of course we appreciate our loved ones, it's just that when it's all over, said, and done with, we are only going to be able to answer for ourselves. All I want to do is be a friend of Him, I want to hear well done, I want to see others make it in. We have to live holy and it doesn't even matter who you are or where you come from, when you give your life to Christ, it's your job to live out His word. It's your job to constantly be in prayer, even in the little moments, it's your job to fast and to seek His face. It's your job to share your testimony no matter how graphic. It's your job to have the mindset to want to be closer to Him with each passing day. If you're reading this and you know what it's like to have people leave you and act different towards you because of what someone said about you, have hope because God knows the truth. Forgive them and move on. Focus on the people who tell you the truth and who genuinely take the time to get to know you for themselves. Suffering as a genuine person mainly hits home for those who have a heart for the people and it usually gets at specific callings in the Kingdom. So with that being said, some people can just brush it without even caring, while for some of us, it may hurt a little more, or even push you to question God. Well dear reader, take it from someone who has moments like that, forgive them and move on and never stop being genuine. Your track record outweighs their words and God knows the entire truth. Live to please God no matter what, it doesn't matter if people think that everyone loves you, it doesn't matter if you think everyone hates you, it doesn't matter if others truly see your nature and still stand beside what someone else has said about you. Don't let these things make you waste your time away. Live to please God and God alone and allow His will to be done. Live holy regardless of the persecution and slander behind closed doors. You can do this and I'm right there with you, it's tough but God is bigger and pleasing Him is more important than man's approval.
As Always: Stay Blessed & Encouraged
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