For The Discouraged Believer

 What do we do when we just aren't "feeling" it?

Before I begin, firstly I would like to say that no matter what you are going through, God is always by your side. Even when it feels as though He is nowhere to be found, God is always with you.

Now then, I know it has been awhile and if you have been reading the blog for awhile, you already know that I simply cannot and will not just write for the thrill of it because then that would be too easy and I'm usually ready for challenges. To get a bit more personal Kingdom Family, I just wasn't feeling it and some of you may know what I'm talking about. You don't really feel like praying but you know that you should. You don't really feel like asking for help because you don't want to come off as needy. You don't really want to open up about certain things because you know that you can overcome anything that you put your mind to. Then here comes the moments of "I should". Let me elaborate. Your mind is always running, giving you this narrative: "I should be over this by now" "I should be geting on my boss level stuff" "I should have it all together like she/he does" "I should have it all figured out by now" "I should be a super mom/dad" "I should be a super prayer warrior" "I should be super spiritual but.." Sound familiar? This is where I have been lately dear reader. If you've been in this state lately then this is all for you because I too have been in this "not feeling it"/ "I should be.."  kind of rut.. 

So of course, the question remains: What do believers do when they are discouraged.. 

Don't worry dear reader, I won't shove the Bible down your throat or tell you off with scriptures. That's not what the Word of God is designed for. I will give you what you need to the best of my ability because, again, I have been in this rut for awhile now but my days are getting better. After all, this is a safe space for you and I. So dear reader, what do believers do when they are discouraged? Well personally, I didn't know what to do. A promise that was made to me seemed to have slipped right through my fingers and in that moment I wasn't "me". I sobbed my eyes out in the arms of my husband but not once did I blame God. Man will always let you down and that's okay because we have to put our full trust in God. Some of you may know what I'm talking about here. From that day, I was in the rut unfortunetly, truthfully it was like walking without stability. A guessing game of where or when my next move should be. A gamble almost, it was as if the weight of constant worry and downward thoughts had just made itself at home right on my shoulders and the weight was unbearable. I felt too fragile, too weak, not good enough. It was as if my mind was about to take the worst turn it has ever took in a long time. Until I remembered who God truly was to me and who I am to Him. During those dark days, I tried my best to hide any scent of just feeling down and out, I tried to erase the worry off of my face and hide the doubts, fears, and strain of life from those who always called me strong. It just ended up swallowing me but I decided that it was time to choke this despair up and out. It was time to refuse the thoughts and mind games of the enemy. And let me tell you something, I didn't get out of this rut by some cute encourging post or motivational video. No, not that at all, I cried, I wailed, I forced myself to open my physical Bible. I didn't just read it like a novel. I began to pray and ask God that even though I wasn't in the best state of mind, to at least show me where to go and what to read because this attack felt as if it was just too much for the "Strong Ivianna". I felt unprepared for it. And to my surprise, I began to read exactly what I was lead to. When I tell you guys that I literally had to force myself, that's exactly what it was, forcing myself daily to just keep reading even if I was tired, even if I didn't get it right away. And in that consistency, it reminded me of just how consistent God is when it comes to taking care of us. I mean we are His children after all. So then, what does a believer do when they are discouraged? You run, run straight to God, not family, not friends, not the keyboard or camera. Run straight to God. Run to God in your fragile moments.

(and before we move on, don't feel bad if you've had a moment or two of "going off" venting to someone close to you, we all have our moments, and God knows I've had some vicious ones of my own... but we can't stay in that, deny yourself daily by killing off those things within you that mean you no good!)

Run to God in my fragile moments? How? What does that even mean?

Running to God in your fragile moments means to show Him how desperate you are, allow Him to fill you up in your brokenness. As you can see previously, I referred to myself as the "Strong Ivianna" that's because I had always heard throughout my life how strong I was. So you can imagine my shock when I had this rut that I was stuck in and I just couldn't overcome it as quickly as I would have liked to. Maybe that's how you have viewed yourself for awhile too. Is this to say that those who call us strong shouldn't? Of course not, when someone calls you strong it's because they have seen you hold it down in some way, shape, or form when they know they haven't seen many others do it like you or they themselves might've been flown the coop in your position. In your weakest moment, God is made strong so it is best to boast about your weak and fragile moments.. (See 2 Corinthians 12:9) I say this to say that, dear reader, if you are currently a discouraged believer, go to God in it. Go just as you are. Don't prepare yourself for prayer, just start praying. Don't wait for the perfect caption for that picture when you know you aren't okay. Reach out, speak up, your desperation for Christ is needed. Show God how lowly you've been feeling. He can see right through that "perfect christian" mask of yours anyway. Sometimes you have to get ugly to become beautiful. Your breakthrough isn't always going to look like cute pictures for the gram or new outfits. Your breakthrough won't look like "godly bios" for social media or happy go lucky moments. Sometimes your breakthrough looks like you forgiving yourself for the hardships your put yourself through. Sometimes your breakthrough is you realizing where you went wrong or finally seeing how you mishandled someone dear to you. Sometimes your breakthrough is you finally letting go of the very one you thought you wouldn't make it without even though they constantly showed multiple red flags. That last one can apply to both relationships and friendships. Not too many people would like to admit that though it is certainly the truth. Sometimes your breakthrough looks like you admitting that you've been toxic before or that you are currently the toxic one who needs change. Sometimes your breakthrough looks like admitting your faults and asking for forgiveness. Sometimes your breakthroughs simply are just you looking at yourself ...

You have nothing to be ashamed of..we all fall..

In those moments where my mind had reached rock bottom, I kept telling my husband that I was a failure, and instead of him feeding into what I was carrying on my shoulders, he spoke life into me instead. He told me how I wasn't a failure, he told me how beautiful i was, how smart and caring I was. Even though these words may seem small, they were strongly defined in the most helpful way to me in those moments. Not only did he uplift me as husbands do but he uplifted me with the Word of God and prayer, he told me exactly what the Holy Spirit was giving him to tell me. Married couples in Christ know that it can be extrememly hard to release and recieve spiritual words to and from their spouses only because you both see ALL of one another. You see your spouse when they aren't their natually anointed selves. You see ALL the highs and the lows. But in that moment, I had to recieve so that I could works towards my own healing in Christ. Dear reader, I get it, you might be saying, well it was easy for me to get out of my rut because I have someone. Well, I beg to differ. We're all standing at the cross together but individually. Whatver I choose to do or not do, I will be held responsible in the end. So why not work towards freedom every chance that I get. Being trapped in an discouraged mindset can be one of the hardest things to break free from because if you let it, your mind will just run and run and run and soon you'll begin to react on those very thoughts. In this moment dear reader, know that you have nothing to be ashamed of. You slipped, you fell, you didn't feel like getting back up but you did and even if you still feel stuck, you will get back up. Anyone can claim they're strong and they've got it all together but true strength is found in humility. This experience has been an eye opener to just how important Christ is to me. If I were my old self, there would be no hope for me honestly and that's just me speaking for myself. I know how my thoughts were back then and I thank God they're nowhere near that anymore. 

With time, the days get better and you get tougher

For the believer who's been feeling discoraged, it does get better and not in a cliche way. You have to shake yourself awake sometimes. You have to be open about where your head space is. Even if you don't have anyone around you, I promise you, God is always with you. Even if you believe me or not. God is always there and He's waiting for you to come to Him as you are. Yeah your eyes may be puffy from crying, your cheeks are tear stained and you may even have some snot or slob all over the place. Use that! Cry out to God, tell Him how much you truly need Him, not just in your despair but in your life as a whole. Call out to Him, even when you're tired because I promise you, the longer you wait, the harder it gets. My goal is that for those who read anything I write, I want them to do better in their situations than I did. Which is why I don't mind telling my stories as long as they can show the next person that they don't have to stay stuck or down and out. As for me? Don't worry about me, I'm taking each day at a time and even as I write this out to you all, I can say it's been a great day because I've chosen to view things differently. Will it be like that all the time? No, we're human, yes, but is that our excuse? No. I will say though that I am glad that I am human because Jesus died for me so that I may have a better chance to remain on the right path, even when you fall away, God is there. He's ready to forgive you, His Holy Spirit is ready to comfort you. Are YOU ready to trust in Him?

Whenever you feel discouraged, please hold onto these scriptures:

"Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you." - 1 Peter 5:7

" The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who spirits are crushed." - Psalms 34:18

"Then Jesus said, Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28

"Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall." Psalms 55:22

"Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness". So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

As Always: Stay Blessed & Encouraged