For Those Who Desire Marriage

The covenant is much more important than the ceremony...

Many of us desire marriage and we fantasize about the idea of being married but do we really know what is required for marriage and what it means to be married in Christ? Today we are about to seriously dive into the things that we don't talk about when it comes down to those who desire to be married. 

Marriage, where two become one and vow to stay together. Everyone dreams of the perfect wedding and how perfect and easy marriage will be. Now don't get me wrong here, there's nothing wrong with wanting a nice wedding and getting ready for nice days but marriage is much more deeper than that. Firstly, before you say "I do" to someone, you have to know deep down within you that this person desires the same things that you desire (and you need to know that God is in the midst of this). When you are a devoted woman of God, you are determined to have God's will for your life be done rather than your own so of course you would want your soon to be husband to be the same. So let's get real here, anyone can look good together and make each other feel good but everyone can't be there on the important things for you on a one on one basis. Any man or woman can make each other's flesh feel good but not everyone can build up your spirit in the way that it needs to be. In today's time it's easy to match up people based on just looks and fleshly desires but when you are serious about your walk with Christ, then you already know when it comes down to getting married, God needs to be the foundation. My question to you all is, with whoever you choose to be with, will you be able to see yourself with this person when you are older? What I mean by this is, we don't stay young forever so when you are getting ready to say "I do" to your future spouse, you need to know that this is someone who will be there when the going gets tough. You need to know that this is the closest person to you that knows you like the back of their own hand. You need to know that even when hard times come, at the end of day, this is someone that you will still choose and they will also continue to choose you too. See, you have to know that this person is someone who is willing to tough out the storm with you and stand by your side when everything else seems to be coming against you. They need to be someone who can speak life into you and who desires God's will to be done for you and them.

Secondly, you need to make sure that God is in the midst of this. It's easy for our flesh or our own desires to take control of the decisions we make. This is why we have to make sure that our relationship with God is strong and solid so that when someone comes up to you and they look like a good choice, you can use your discernment to see if this is the Lord's will for your life. Anyone can be a good choice but you want to aim for the God choice. By knowing that God is in the midst of you saying "I do" your focus and attention should always be on what He desires for you and not what you desire for you. Now, let's say you know it's the Lord's will for you to be married, this doesn't mean that you go out there looking for someone to marry just because you're tired of being single. You have to wait for the the Lord's perfect timing. In the midst of your singleness, allow the Lord to work on and through you. We can carry so much baggage within us and it will cause us to go through deliverance and work on ourselves before coming together with someone else. Now, am I saying that you won't have to go through deliverance once you get married? No, I'm not saying that at all because marriage before God is so powerful that it literally has to break the ungodly things that try to hide within you. I'm just saying that during your time of being single, it can be used as a time to get rid of the baggage that's trying to hold you back from walking in the fullness that God has for you! Making sure that God and His timing is in the midst of this goes hand in hand with praying and using discernment on the daily basis.

Thirdly, don't strive for marriage out of the fear of being alone. Most people will rush and settle for something just because they have the fear of being alone and usually when this happens, the best results do not come in for them. You have to know that whatever it is that's making you feel alone, you need to identify it and give it God so that He can remove that feeling of loneliness. If you try to pile the fear of being alone onto someone, they'll eventually grow tired of that weight being on their shoulders. That fear is almost like a bad addiction, nobody ever heals from whatever it causing them harm by pushing their problems onto someone else. Recognize the fear, rebuke it, and give it God. Don't allow the fear of being alone cause you to settle for less!

As we come to a close, there is nothing wrong with wanting marriage one day. But in your time of singleness, if it is His will for you to be married, wait on His timing. As you are waiting, allow God to prepare you for marriage according to His word. Marriage is a whole new experience and you want to make sure that you are with the right person so that you are both equally yoked. You want to make sure that your future spouse is one that is God sent and not good sent. 

As Always: Stay Blessed & Encouraged