For The Wife Who's Been Overlooked

Being overlooked by others...

The last thing that you would expect after getting married is to be overlooked by others. Of course not everyone has experienced this but this is for the ones who have and how you can overcome the feeling of wanting and or needing to be seen. How can I write about this? Because as a wife in ministry, I had experienced this heavily when I first married my husband and even up until now, it happens, but God set me free from caring. If you still care, then don't worry, freedom is right around the corner for you in Jesus name. Now then, of course being overlooked can happen to you one of two ways. One way is that people don't know of you and 2, people know of you but they just don't care enough to get to know you. Sounds harsh? That's simply how SOME people are. Please keep in mind that as you continue to read this that you know that not all people are like that. This may seem like common sense to some people but there are people here who take things extremely literally. Being a wife in ministry is not for a jealous and or selfish woman. With this being said the position of being a wife in Christ is no easy task. When your husband is a true man of God, depending on his calling, people may seem to be wrapped around him and they will easily brush over you or just write you off as just a wife. God knows that this isn't just what you are, He knows that you are so much more. It's people who may not get that. Being overlooked by others when you are in a marriage can be confusing and at times painful. Again take note that I have been in this position before and I am no longer bound to caring about being validated by man. I say that it can be painful and confusing because your husband can see and tell you how amazing of a person you are but there's just some people who would rather be around your husband rather than you and there are different reasons as into why people are this.

You are not responsible for the motives of others...

The different reasons can vary depending on the person as we all know. Some people love the idea of marriage a little too much & when they see a married couple they may begin to wonder "what if". Then they are those who may constantly want to stick around because of the anointing and if the person is not careful, the anointing becomes attractive. YIKES! It's the truth people and if you've been reading this blog for a long time, you already know that I am not one to sugar coat. Another reason why people may be clinging to your spouse and overlooking you is because they may always want to hear a word from God. See, people enjoy hearing what the Lord has to say concerning their lives and if your husband is a leader and or they flow in the prophetic, there will always be a bit of a crowd. Sometimes the word that they are searching for could be inside of you but if you are only labeled as a wife in their heads then they might just miss it. I'm here to let you know that you are not responsible for the hidden motives of others but you are responsible for how you react and carry yourself. I can't tell you how many times my husband and I would observe how people treated the both of us and the dramatic difference would always have me asking him what was it that was "wrong" with me. Crazy right? Being bound to people's opinions will have thinking all sorts of craziness about yourself but I thank God for deliverance. It was a tough journey and it didn't happen overnight. My husband had make me realize that people's opinions simply did not matter and I had to believe that!

You might feel invisible to some but God sees you...

Being overlooked isn't the best thing but once you find your self in a place of knowing that God always sees you, you begin to care less and less if others see you or not. To the wife that has been overlooked, some people may not have seen your potential but God KNOWS your potential and He's watching you to see how you handle it all. How can you handle it all when it seems as if your husband and or children are gaining all the spotlight? Stay humble, remain graceful, and demand respect. You cannot let people walk all over you and expect them to change all of a sudden. Sometimes you should be grateful that not everyone is always in your face. Speaking from recent experience, being a wife that has been overlooked by others has allowed me to be extremely observant. You know the crazy thing about it all, you see the patterns within people and the day they finally acknowledge you, you pretty much know how they operate. I can't tell you how many times people thought that my kindness was me being oblivious but thank God for deliverance. I've simply learned that you could be the chilliest person ever but whatever version you are to another person is who you will always be to do them. All you can do is to continue to carry yourself in a way that is pleasing to God. Get rid of the need and or want to be cool with everyone. Of course everyone isn't like this, but if this is you, then I honestly hope that this helps you.

All in all, it's time to walk in your freedom love!

Dear wife, being overlooked by others should not put you in a place of questioning who you are. Be grateful for the people who took the time to get to know you for you and not just because of who your husband is. Another thing that I have learned is that not everyone will be glad that you are married especially when you are young and or WHO you are married to. Start walking in your freedom,  rather than focusing on the ones who don't approach you, appreciate the ones who are genuinely there for you. You may be the wife who is ready to let go of needing to be liked and talked to by everyone. If you are the wife who finds themselves struggling with this entire topic, do not be ashamed, have some one on one time with God and even if you have to talk it out, I suggest that you talk it out with your husband. Take it from a wife who's been there, it gets easier when you talk to your husband and you seek God through the whole process. Letting go of wanting to be seen and or noticed by others is extremely freeing and it allows you to walk into who you are called to be. Some of us are still stuck in the same place because we are worried about who will think what or who is connected to who. Let go of it and press forward. Remember you are the daughter of a true and living God who's word will refresh you and who's son has redeemed you. Never forget who you are in Him! No more bondage! Walk in your freedom and hold onto you this scripture:

Those who exalt themselves will be humbled and those who humble themselves will be exalted

Matthew 23:12 NLT

As Always: Stay Blessed & Encouraged