Friendships: Everyone is NOT your enemy!

When having haters boosts the ego and damages your walk with Christ...

Friendships. They can be tricky, complicated, amazing, wonderful and or sometimes not even what we thought they would be. In most cases, when we find out that  certain friends are actually back stabbers and or haters, we as people go into a "I GOT HATERS" frenzy. Of course if this isn't you then that's good but today's post is for those who don't mind being real with themselves. I'm one of those people. Every time I found out that someone was only getting close to me for their personal gain, I went on a "I GOT HATERS" frenzy. Girl, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Always saying "amen" or "mhm" to enemy scriptures or messages about haters. Yes, I've been there and I don't mind talking about it because I know that if God can completely change me on this topic and set me free then I KNOW He can do the same for you if you are currently going through this. Soon enough, the petty haters frenzy began to quickly turn into me having resentment which then lead me straight into being unforgiving and this was turning into bondage. I began to realize that I was the one who was blocking my own blessings. God was clearly watching to see how I would handle this situation. When you handle something like this poorly, then you are clearly showing God where your maturity level is no matter how well you are at putting on a show in front of others. Do your toes hurt yet? Good, then that means you are clearly ready for change. Once I had realized that being resentful and petty was doing more damage to my walk with Christ than good, I had to get set free and I had to stay free. Even when the people that did me wrong approached me. I had to forgive people who weren't sorry, which was hard. I had to forgive people who literally didn't know what they were doing. (They exist girl you know!) And last and most importantly...I had to forgive people who knew exactly what they were doing. Even though it was hard, my journey to being free from this wasn't over. I then had to repent for every petty and or big headed thought I ever thought about when I saw  certain people.  I also had to repent and ask God for forgiveness for literally holding onto the bad things that they did to me even when I clearly saw they had changed. That process can be the hardest but it's extremely necessary. I knew I had to let it go even though it was hard because God didn't hold onto the things that I used to do. I had to realize that change wasn't just reserved for me. It's for anyone who's willing to be better than who they were yesterday.

Know that you don't have to reconnect with them, just don't be bitter and or resentful towards them..

Now as believers in Christ, we each have our own individual battles but we all believe in the one true and living God. With this being said, once you forgive whoever it is that has wronged you, you cannot hold what they did to you over their heads, especially since you are a living testimony that God can change, use, and bless whoever He wants. Of course you don't have to reconnect to people that you had to forgive, it's just that you have to make sure that bitterness and resentment are not finding their way back into your mind and heart. If you cross paths with someone who has treated you wrong and or used you for their own gain, you can be cordial. Many people say that they are cordial without knowing the true definition. To be cordial literally means WARM and FRIENDLY. If you don't believe me, just look it up. So if you KNOW for sure that you have been cold towards the very ones who did you wrong then of course you aren't ready for the next level in that area. We all know that we can love with a wooden spoon but if you are using this saying as an excuse to gossip and or be cold and bitter towards them then YOU have some serious flesh to kill off. It doesn't feel good but God is seeing how YOU react! After you have put into practice of being cordial and not holding certain events over the ones who have wronged you then the process of healing from toxic friendships continues.

Don't judge a godly connection through damaged eyes...

Now that you are here, it's been hard but what do you do when new people try to connect to you? Do you push them to the side because you can't see past your own damaged eyes? It's an awful feeling when we find out that people were just using us for their own personal gain. Once you are free and you have truthfully forgiven the ones you have hurt you, the next obstacle is how you handle people who end up being godly connections. Now of course we all know that using discernment is important when we encounter new people but are you trying to use your discernment with bitterness in the back of your head and or even fear? Not the fear of people but the fear of being mistreated and or hurt again? Something that most of us don't want to discuss. Most of us avoid meeting new people and or trusting new people because of how we used to be treated. Then our discernment isn't even on 10 because it's being clouded by our own fleshly walls. You see, you should not be letting old hurts taint genuine people. How many connections that were sent by God passed you by just because you couldn't let go of what others did to you? There are godly connections available to you, you just can't get in your own way. The very blessing and or fellowship that you've been needing can come from an unlikely place. Are you too wrapped up in what happened to you to notice?

Everyone is not your enemy girl, there's freedom in knowing this...

Everyone is not your enemy love. You might have been hurt and used by many but you cannot allow the past hurts to taint your current mindset. There are people that are literally placed in front of you for a reason but if YOU miss it because you believe that all people will hurt you then you are only blocking your own blessings and godly connections. You can't get mad at God if you realize this too late. Now of course we know that sadly we all do have enemies but we need to realize that we do not fight against flesh and blood ( See Ephesians 6:12).. You cannot forget the Word of God when it comes down to dealing with people. There are genuine people that are meant to be in your life but if you get wrapped up in having haters, holding grudges, being unforgiving and hesitant to move on then how will you be able to connect to them? And even if you are able to connect to someone genuine, you will mishandle them if you are carrying all of that baggage with you. If you are going through any of this, know that change is for YOU to be better than who you were yesterday. Be real with yourself. Only you AND God knows EVERY single thing that you think and do. Go look in the mirror today. I hope this gives you the courage to be real with yourself and call yourself out. Forgiveness is for you woman of God. Healing from being used in friendships is a tough process but it's necessary. Drop the toxic baggage so that the genuine godly connections can come and STAY in your life!

As Always: Stay Blessed & Encouraged