Breaking Through The Barriers Of Insecurities

How could something so small cause long lasting damage?

Now whether you would like to admit it or not, most of us, if not all, have struggled with something about ourselves physically. Whether it be the way certain facial features are, how much weight we do or don't have, or even how our hair looks naturally. Whatever it is, girl, we all have something that we have struggled with. Allow me to take you down memory lane for a bit. When I was in middle school, I was short and thin and the only thing I had really was that people liked my hair and I had a bit of a chest on me. I was never really bothered with how I looked or even thought about it until I began to have horrible acne and thought that my head was too big for my body. Sounds silly right? Well, in middle school, kids really don't have a filter. I was extremely tiny and for some people that was a bonus but others began to focus on my arms. I was a very hairy little girl, that's just how it is in my family. One day while I was in the cafeteria, this little boy was telling one of my friends that she was pretty but she needed to be my size with no hairy arms. I remember this so clearly because it knocked whatever confidence I had way down. Then not only did it cause a feud between me and that little boy, but my friend no longer wanted to talk to me just because of what some little boy had to say about her. Keep in mind this is only middle school. As time passed and I began to move to the next grade, being super tiny was exceptional to little boys but if your face wasn't pretty or if you had acne or in my case: acne, glasses and hairy arms, you were not valid. Did I want the attention of the little boys, no, I could've cared less but when someone points out what they think is a flaw in you, it can weigh you down and have you thinking about things you never thought about before. So I then began to wish to be different. I wanted to look like the popular girls. The ones who looked like they should be in high school instead of middle school. Even though I had a family who loved me and called me beautiful, it's hard to keep that in mind when you go to school. Kids have no filter. Fast forward to high school. My first two years were horrible. I didn't know anyone and I was bullied a lot just because I had hairy arms on the first day. Even though I had shaved a long time ago, people still hung on to that. Then I thought I was in the clear when my acne went down but apparently my chin looked like a butt to people and I had big knuckles? Sounds stupid right? Welp these two things just continued to knock me down. I carried this and other things with me for a very long time. I began to pick myself apart. I also began to try and act like people on social media and in school and in the end, I was still miserable.

The problem is that they see your potential but you don't!

When you've been called ugly or too small or big or was given weird teasing names long enough, you begin to believe that. One thing I can tell you is this. Almost every time someone points out something that they don't like about you it's because you either have or are something that they are jealous of. You begin to see the fruit of it through comparison. Not comparison as in you're better than them, comparison as in you have something they wish they had. If you were the girl who had a lot of people around you because of low self esteem it was because others knew of your potential but you didn't. This gave them power over you because you didn't know that you were something special and if you had known, they would not have been able to control you with their words. Thus avoiding being a people pleasing person. I took you down memory lane to show you how something as small as that had a huge and negative influence on me that tried to follow me for a very long time. I wasn't even embracing the good things about myself that brought me joy. I thought that if people didn't find you beautiful then you weren't. If you didn't act a certain way then you were a nobody. Well let me tell you this. It's better to be a nobody to people and to be a somebody to God! You see, people will pick you apart because deep down, they see how amazing you are and two, they will try to inflict their own pain onto you. They'll take out the things they don't like about themselves onto you. I dare you to look back on those moments in your life where you allowed the words and opinions of others to make you move a certain way. You might look back and wondered why did you even care in the first place and that's okay because now you can take what you have learned to help the next person. When you look back on these moments, you may also see things that made and kept you unique and usually, being different may get you labeled as weird but when you come to Christ you learn that you are a peculiar person. The very things that got you labeled as weird are now the very things that God uses to bring you to success.

Begin to knock down the lies of the enemy!

This was something that had just hit me today before I began to writing to you all: If God does not make mistakes, then why are you looking down on the way that you look? This not only hit me like a train but it finally made me put down every lie of the enemy concerning my appearance. It made me embrace how I looked because God doesn't make mistakes and we are created in His image! I refuse to return to who I used to be. I refuse to believe the lies of the enemy. The same God that created the beauty around me is the same God who created the beauty within me. Knocking down the lies of the enemy when it comes down to your appearance can be hard at first. Trust me, I'm a whole wife and I was still allowing insecurities to hold me back even though my husband thinks I'm the finest thing in the world to him. You see, we can have people to call us beautiful and they can genuinely mean it but if you don't know it, then you still remain inside the barriers of your insecurity. So this is what we are going to do. Every time you have a moment of picking at yourself, speak the Word of God out loud QUICKLY! When the enemy calls you ugly, clap your hands and shout that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Whatever it is that you have to do, don't hesitate! Walk into all that you are because God created you in His image and He didn't make a mistake on how you look!

How can I embrace what I am insecure about?

Changing the way you view things plays a huge part in embracing what it is that you were insecure about. You were unique the very day that you were born. Embracing the things that you used to look down on eliminates the need to look or be like someone else. Whether it's your weight, facial features, hair, your style or even your personality, no one is you and the sooner you realize that, the faster you can embrace all that you are. Now of course if you are still struggling with certain things (we all are) you still have a chance to change the narrative of how your story plays out. The right people will gravitate and embrace you for who you are. There are others who are there to genuinely speak life into you. When you have those moments of feeling like you aren't as beautiful as the girl next door, speak peace over yourself. You just being here is a miracle and keep reminding yourself that God doesn't make mistakes. Of course walking in Holy confidence doesn't just happen overnight. You have to make the decision in your mind to allow God to make you whole and satisfied in Him. Everyday you have to make the choice in whether you will speak life or death over yourself. Lately I have been looking in the mirror and doing poses and hyping myself up. That might make you giggle but it's been keeping my mind in a good place concerning my appearance. After having my son, my body changed big time. I used to have a sharp jawline and a slim figure but I carried heavy when I was pregnant. My son was little but really long and he gave my stretch marks and a tummy and my jawline isn't sharp anymore. In the beginning, I had an extremely hard time coping with this because I thought I was destroyed. Then I began to change my views of it all. I was able to carry and birth a healthy child. I was able to nurse and care for our son. I actually lived through a thing where some women die from. Besides, I am starting to believe that the weight looks nice on me whether people agree or not. It's all about how to you view things. Now you may not be a mother but whatever it is that you are insecure about, I dare you to embrace it and watch how much you change from the inside out.

Get out and stay out of the bondage of insecurity

Today was the day that I decided to stop downplaying myself and even though it takes awhile to get passed your looks, God can do it in your mind swiftly when you trust Him enough. Woman of God, once you gain freedom from this bondage, maintain it by watching what you speak over yourself. Have people around you who can remind you of how beautiful you are without being jealous of your beauty. If you are around people who crack jokes on your appearance or personality consistently then it's best to pull away from them. Know the difference between fun and undercover jealousy. When you begin to take the steps of being free of insecurities, things will be thrown at you to see if you can stay in your new mindset. Keep your mindset covered through prayer. Woman of God, you were created in His image and the beauty that is within you is so authentic and bright that it'll shine boldly through you. God doesn't make mistakes so embrace who you are naturally.

As Always: Stay Blessed & Encouraged