It's chilly outside and it's not your job to provide warmth for the wrong one!
Now ladies, I know it's been a minute since I've been up here but I advise you to get comfy and grab a notepad because sis, it's time to take notes. Usually it can be so easy to get caught up in friends, family, and even relationships. It can also be easy to lose yourself in the midst of motherhood, wifeyhood, and or even being a workaholic. The thing about all of this is how you handle and cope with it and if you are feeling as though distractions are the only way to get your head above the water then girl, it's time to rethink your point of view. Distractions are just that, DISTRACTIONS, they literally serve no purpose other than to keep you away from something or someone important. Now let's just say that you have a business that you plan on building or a podcast in the works, every time you get closer to completing it, a man may pop up out of nowhere or all of a sudden, you find yourself binge watching shows instead of planning and or someone wants the entire blueprint of your ideas in order to keep tabs on you in your workplace. What do all of these things have in common? They rob you of your focus. Now for my single ladies up here, I warn you to be cautious during this time because "Mr. Right Now" is going to show up because of the colder months. We are in the times where the cold weather will drive anyone into the arms of the WRONG ONE just for the sake of not being alone. Mr. Right Now may have all the qualifications that you THINK you want in a man but, if given full access, you'll finally realize that his name is MR. RIGHT NOW and not Mr. Right. As he is robbing you of your focus and putting all of these ideas in your head about the two of you, those projects and the things God has instructed for you to do begin to be placed on the back burner and before you know it, it's too late. Now, it can be easy for Mr. Right Now to rob you of your focus and sometimes he probably won't even have to touch you to do so. He could take up your mental space, bit by bit and it's all because of the time of year that we are in. Single ladies, the imposters always show up around this time of year because it's chilly outside and they're looking for warmth. If you provide that warmth for them physically and mentally then you can say goodbye to your focus and say hello to a whole bunch of mess. Now of course, not all men are after you like Mr. Right Now but it's easy to point out when they just aren't the one for you depending on WHEN and HOW they show up and try to stay in your life. Mr. Right Now is looking for warmth in the moment not comfort in the long run, don't get caught up girl.
How can I focus on myself when others are depending on me?
Now then, for my married mothers, single mothers, and wives, you have to refrain from losing yourself in the midst of taking care of your husband/child/children and or all of the above. How can you do this when the load of it all can be heavy. Well, in all honesty, motherhood from my point of view is hard but I know that my experience as a mother isn't as hard as the experience of a single mother. This is where we need to know where we are. All mothers can agree that motherhood in general isn't just some walk in the park whether you have a newborn, 3 year old or 16 year old, this role is hard but I can't tell you how hard it truly is for a single mother because I'm not a single mother. Of course I can have an idea of what it may be like but I'll never truly know. So with this being said, please take note that if you are a mother who is married or if you aren't, don't worry, you are seen and known for your hard work and you are doing a wonderful job. Now then, how to refrain from losing yourself when you are the one that has to run a tight ship every single day? First of all sis, you have to know who you are in God. If you don't even know who you are besides being a mother and or wife then what does that say about your relationship with God. You didn't give your life to Christ just to suffer from an identity crisis girl! You gave your life to Christ because you wanted to live a holy life, you wanted to change and stay changed, you saw the difference between letting God be in your life and refusing Him. So sis, level with me here, when you were in the world, you and everyone else around you at the time knew exactly who you were and what you were known for. Maybe you were the girl who always cut class, maybe you were the girl with one too many boyfriends, maybe you were the girl who always needed a drink just to have "fun", maybe you were the girl who had a lot of money and people only kept you around because you thought that buying things for others would make you fit in. Whatever it was for you back then, you knew you wanted to change for all of your sins to be wiped clean. Now that you are in God, why do you feel as though it is hard for you to know who you are? Well let's make one thing clear. You are God's daughter in the name of Jesus Christ and you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Now that you know that you are His daughter, we all know that no child is exactly like their sibling, so this is where you have to know exactly WHO you are in Him. It's not my job to tell you who you are because that is something that you allow God to show you. Once you know and have a secure hand on who you are in Him, you'll be able to refrain from losing yourself in the midst of taking care of your husband/children/child.
Focusing on your focus
Now ladies, we know all too well that being a woman in general is tough. It's tough when it comes down to embracing how we look, what kind of hair we have, who likes our personality, dealing with jealous and or cruel women who are really just adults suffering from childhood trauma, and or dealing with all of this and so much more. In the midst of all of that and then some, it's a great thing to know that Jesus died for our sins and that we are able to truly repent when we fall short and we have access to God's true and living Word. Now, as I have stated before, I don't write unless I am lead to and I set this standard for myself simply because I KNOW that if it were my own will it would be extremely easy to write and upload on here every single day. That's just the honest truth, I've taken classes on writing in high school and would write in my spare time growing up. Of course it was never faith based things but if I were to rely on my ability alone, this entire blog in itself would be extremely different and I would most likely come off as big headed. This is why when God uses you through something that you know about and are passionate about, you give up your own will and relinquish your control! I've stated this to say that sometimes, you have to be reminded of whether or not you are still maintaining your relationship with God. I can honestly say that I've had some tough weeks lately but I haven't shown it. I have recently been more open with my husband which was tough but needed in order for my healing about my past to come through . I've had my moments of dropping the ball when it came to reading the Word of God and praying and that's just honest. I've had moments where I've shed tears and in the midst of that, I have had to pull myself together because I am needed. I certainly have no problem telling you all this, I am not a polished individual, I have my flaws and short comings just like anyone else, I just refuse to make myself out as someone who never makes mistakes. The only person who never makes mistakes is Jesus Christ! Now then, as we all know, downtime is prep time, in the midst of all that during these past few weeks, I'm working hard to change and shift my perspective, to change my responses and voice. Striving for growth no matter how hard it may be to burst through the soil. Focusing on your focus is knowing when to eliminate whatever it is that takes you away from the King of kings. Shielding your eyes from certain content that you KNOW will throw you off course. Content like what? Well anything that will pull you out of character, like gossip shows, porn, graphic shows, anything that is CLEARLY a red flag especially when you are a Kingdom Built Woman! Focusing on your focus also consists of surrounding yourself with people who LOVE YOU ENOUGH TO CORRECT YOU. Please don't be like this generation, cutting someone off over a small offense. Of course there are people in this world who do have it out for you but the ones who have the gut to tell you what you NEED TO HEAR are the ones that you need to appreciate. Focusing on your focus is having moments where you just fall in love with God all over again. The moments where you worship Him throughout your home, the moments where you read, study, and cross reference the Bible. The moments where you lay before the Lord just praying without announcing it to the world. Focusing on your focus is simply you keeping God first in your life.
You are a Kingdom Built Woman and you don't have time for foolishness, build your relationship with God for you! Display the realness of what it's like to be a true daughter of the King!
As Always: Stay Blessed & Encouraged
Now then, for my married mothers, single mothers, and wives, you have to refrain from losing yourself in the midst of taking care of your husband/child/children and or all of the above. How can you do this when the load of it all can be heavy. Well, in all honesty, motherhood from my point of view is hard but I know that my experience as a mother isn't as hard as the experience of a single mother. This is where we need to know where we are. All mothers can agree that motherhood in general isn't just some walk in the park whether you have a newborn, 3 year old or 16 year old, this role is hard but I can't tell you how hard it truly is for a single mother because I'm not a single mother. Of course I can have an idea of what it may be like but I'll never truly know. So with this being said, please take note that if you are a mother who is married or if you aren't, don't worry, you are seen and known for your hard work and you are doing a wonderful job. Now then, how to refrain from losing yourself when you are the one that has to run a tight ship every single day? First of all sis, you have to know who you are in God. If you don't even know who you are besides being a mother and or wife then what does that say about your relationship with God. You didn't give your life to Christ just to suffer from an identity crisis girl! You gave your life to Christ because you wanted to live a holy life, you wanted to change and stay changed, you saw the difference between letting God be in your life and refusing Him. So sis, level with me here, when you were in the world, you and everyone else around you at the time knew exactly who you were and what you were known for. Maybe you were the girl who always cut class, maybe you were the girl with one too many boyfriends, maybe you were the girl who always needed a drink just to have "fun", maybe you were the girl who had a lot of money and people only kept you around because you thought that buying things for others would make you fit in. Whatever it was for you back then, you knew you wanted to change for all of your sins to be wiped clean. Now that you are in God, why do you feel as though it is hard for you to know who you are? Well let's make one thing clear. You are God's daughter in the name of Jesus Christ and you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Now that you know that you are His daughter, we all know that no child is exactly like their sibling, so this is where you have to know exactly WHO you are in Him. It's not my job to tell you who you are because that is something that you allow God to show you. Once you know and have a secure hand on who you are in Him, you'll be able to refrain from losing yourself in the midst of taking care of your husband/children/child.
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