Keeping Your Faith In The Midst Of Motherhood

I've only got one question for you...

Good morning my Kingdom Sisters, we've gotten a bit of an "early bird" special for ya today. Okay that was extremely corny but just roll with it, can't help who I am right? Haha, anyway this may be a rather touching piece for any mothers out there regardless of their age, status, or how many children they have. I hope that this not only broadens your faith in God but that it will also have you viewing your position in a new light. Now then, motherhood, what an honor right? Sometimes it doesn't always feel like that, often times we don't even know how we'll make it to the next day. Regardless of the number of children and or ages, the pile of things that have to be done never seem to cease am I right? With all of the burping, changing diapers, nursing, making bottles, late nights, early mornings, doctor appointments, daycare visits, baby sitting interviews, mom guilt, neglecting yourself, after school programs, busy schedules and even busier children. Not to mention homework, field trips, PTO meetings, occasional mom comparison, not feeling like a good mother, questioning yourself, playing doctor, entertainer, teacher, and chef. Juggling morning routines and toddler tantrums and picky eating, having support and feeling alone or being alone and only dreaming of support. NICU visits, praying for enough strength to smile when you don't feel like it, being locked down by breastfeeding, fighting to stay awake while listening to the 300th time of the same story that your child has told. Wanting to reach out for help but feeling insecure because the world screams that you should be strong enough to handle it all on your own, having to hear other moms say how easy something was for them while it seems horrifying and too hard for you. A lot right? That's not even the half of it all. If you've noticed, there are many run on sentences to show just how intense this motherhood thing can be. Didn't think I'd catch that did you? Well, now that you get just a bit of an inkling of this, I've only got one question for any mothers who are reading : 

Where did God go in your life when you became a mother?

 Wavering in faith because of certain mindsets...

Did that question hit you like a train or better yet, did it remind you of a point in time where all you did was lean on God in the beginning of becoming a mother? Now, I am aware that some moms may be reading and may be having a completely different experience, they may be more secure in their faith in God and they may still be leaning on God even more than before and that is wonderful. If you're a mother who may be struggling with her faith or hanging onto God by a single thread, don't be ashamed or look down on yourself. I've been there and I'm only the mother of one and I'm married. I'm aware that it may be even tougher for any mothers out there who have more than one child and a different social status but regardless of that, it can be almost too easy for a mother to drift away from her faith in God. It's tough to maintain your faith sometimes in the midst of motherhood simply because you may allow it to swallow you up as a person. Now if that offends you, don't run from it, face it. Is it truly offensive or convicting because you know better than anyone else that you can do better in your faith. Doesn't really take anyone else to tell you that because you know all that God has done for you even in the midst of being away from Him or running from who He has called you to be. Now then, dear mother struggling with her faith, I GET IT! You see, no one can truly talk another person through and out of something unless they have experienced and be brought out of it themselves. This is why we attract certain people with our testimonies. There are those out there who relate to your story and they needed to hear it in order to gain hope. Well dear reader, this mama gets it. Most of you know that I had a tough time entering motherhood, I've been rather open about it in previous posts. I wavered and completely almost dropped my faith in just the first 2 weeks of being a mother. Some may be reading this and might think that that's rather dramatic. How can a married woman who has only one child get THAT down? Try being a single mom or a mom of multiple! I know, I know, every case is different, every level is different, but isn't that motherhood in a nutshell? It only gets tougher by itself because the older the children get, new obstacles and challenges appear. It's the truth though, I don't care how may times I have to share this, it will help someone who has been through it. In my case, I just couldn't let go of how things used to be, I couldn't keep up with the instant pain and body changes. I wasn't aware of how hard postpartum can try to trap a person. It was tough not getting a break after hours of laboring. As soon as the baby comes out, you're working, you're in the thick of it. So much on your plate that it can be easy to see it as more so of a burden and not a blessing. How could I say this? Don't get me wrong, I know my son and children are blessings, I also know that there are many things about motherhood that people don't address or when they do, it's from a bitter place. It can come off as a burden when your mind is set on certain words or stories that were rooted in bitterness. It can seem like a burden if you have the mindset of thinking your life is over. This is just the truth for some cases because some mothers aren't vocal about this. So be sure to be clear in what you are reading. Some women have seen the TASKS of motherhood as a burden because of where their mindsets were at during the time of becoming a mother.

Am I a bad mother for falling short? How do I get closer to God?

You aren't a bad mother for falling short, the truth of the matter is, we all fall short! Mothers, fathers, believers, non believers, wives, husbands, singles, family members, strangers, we all fall short and mess up but God still gives us chance after chance after chance to get it together. Now for the mother who has fallen short, wavered, and may be beating herself up, stop! Change will not come from throwing a pity party and know that the only person that can stop you from advancing in your faith is YOU! When you became a mother, that did not become your identity as a whole, that just simply ADDED onto your identity. You must know that your identity is found in Christ. If you are unaware of who you are in God and what your purpose is in life, it's time to get back to building your personal relationship with God. Now you may be saying that you have too many kids and too little time to even think about building a relationship with God. Well mama, how do you know if you haven't tried? How can you finish something you haven't even started? That takes care of that, now then, making an effort to regain your love and connection to the Father has to start somewhere. Here are just a few tips to try out in getting back on track to get closer to the Father in the midst of motherhood.

1.  Repent and turn away from whatever sin you may be indulging in on the daily basis. If you are sincere in doing this, your sins will be wiped away. (See Acts of Apostles 3:19)
2.  Set an alarm to remind you to read your Bible. This may sound silly at first but the more you do this, the more of a habit it will become and soon you won't need the alarm, you'll long for the Word of God on your own. We all have to start somewhere sis!
3. Pray for an hour a day. How can you do this with screaming babies and whining toddlers, you can in your mind or under your breath. Time yourself if you have to, soon enough you'll find yourself resulting to prayer more often, especially when the little ones begin to work a nerve..or two!
4. Be intentional in fasting. As believers in Christ, we know that we must deny ourselves daily and kill off our flesh. Now of course as a mother who's doing it all and then some, it may be tough to fast but make the effort to push the plate and start out small. Remember, don't release to anyone of your fast or you'll cancel it out! (See Matthew 6:16 & Matthew 16:24)
5. Lay down on your face before the Lord. Now how in the world can you do that with multiple kids or if it's just you and your little ones. Whenever they're asleep, that may seem like giving up the only little free time you have and they may not sleep long but an effort is an effort and you have to ask yourself, how bad do you want Him for Him?

Now of course these are just a few things to get you started, there's certainly more that you can do when getting back on track at building your relationship with God but hey, you've got to start somewhere! Now if you are a stubborn mommy who just refuses to even try any of this because you just have so much going on, don't use that as an excuse. Before you begin to ramble on about how I get it but I don't just because I only have one child or because I have a partner, let's cut right to the chase and break this all the way down before wrapping this up.

We aren't in each other's shoes but we're running the same race!

Fully breaking this down will require going to the beginning. Upon becoming a mother myself, I had no idea what I was getting into and you'd be surprised by this but it mainly didn't involve our son. Huh? Some moms know exactly what I'm talking about. PEOPLE! I had no idea how much of a loose cannon others could be in the midst of my pregnancy up until now at this very moment. You see, there are two kinds of seasoned and or experienced mothers. Just two. Ones who will give you genuine advice with good intentions. They'll tell you what you need to hear and they usually know when you're able to receive certain pieces that they have to offer. Then you have the bitter ones. The ones who may paint a gruesome picture in order to scare you or to look towards your partner with resentment. In some cases, they may just be hurt from their experiences, while others just simply don't want you to have a good experience if everything is running smoothly for you. Every time I told someone I never got sick or had any normal pregnancy symptoms, some people would either scoff in disbelief or try to speak that it'll come. It never did of course. That was just my experience. I have ran into both types and I still seem to bump into the two from time to time. Now of course even the ones with good intentions can have shocking labor stories or crazy toddler tales but it doesn't take rocket science to tell whether or not someone is just sharing and when someone is trying to intimidate you. Most of the time it's always a mixture between strangers and people you know. Just like marriage, you'll see the true colors of a person towards you the farther along you get in pregnancy and raising your children as a whole. Don't dwell on this though. The ones who come from a bitter or resentful place just need healing and they think that if they hear you agreeing with their rants then you're worthy of their company. After all, misery loves company. If you come across a mother, just remember that you don't know her story, whether she be married or single, say a quick prayer for her if you can and just be open to receiving the genuine mothers. Now then, moving onto when you finally have a rhythm of your own in motherhood with your first born, there's always that one person. "Just wait until you have two." Well frankly isn't that motherhood as a whole? Regardless of how many you have, you're still waiting for the next bulk of difficult tasks. Children grow so when you think the newborn phase is hard, the toddler phase makes your realize them being a newborn wasn't so bad. When they roll around to being 5 and up and they're starting school and you're having hours apart and homework, you wish for the days where all they needed was those juice and snacks they always used to beg for. When they begin to reach the age of being too cool to call you mommy or don't want you kissing them in front of their friends, you long for that one on one time you shared making classroom projects and buying those video games and dolls they used to ask for. When they pass their driving tests and are always out with their newfound friends, you remember when you were first showing them how to walk. When they finally walk that stage and head off to college and bring home someone they're interested in, what you wouldn't give to have at least a day of rocking them to sleep. When they finally get married and begin building their own family, what you wouldn't give to have at least one day of remembering what it felt like to find out you were pregnant with them. The moral of this is, let's stop telling each other "just wait until this or it's easy because of this and that". We can all agree that motherhood is tough but our children aren't children forever and before we know it, they won't need us in ways that we will soon miss. Regardless of your situation, number of children, or even your desire for many or few children, you and I may not wear the same shoes, but we're running the same race Mama..

Cling to God, you can get through this!

Mama, you need God during this, no matter how you became a mother, or when. I know it wasn't in your plan to be a single mother if that's you but know that you're never alone even if you feel like it. If you're a married mother, be open with your spouse in where your head space is at. There's other mothers who wish they had at least someone to take over nightly feedings and running errands. Don't try to hold it in, release! For the mothers who feel as though they aren't worthy of God because of how they became a mother. It might have not began in the best way but it can end in the best way. You can still come to God and give your life to Christ. You are not your past. Allow your child or children to see a mother who knows where her help and strength truly comes from. If you're the mother who struggles with her postpartum body, remember, it carried and nurtured those beautiful children of yours and you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Everyone's body is different, don't kill yourself trying to look like the next mama. To the mother who felt bad for having to be stern for a moment, it just comes with it, you're raising someone who's going to have to know right from wrong in the world so that they won't be swallowed up by the wrong things. To any mother, it is possible for you to get back on track with God, I'm a living testimony. For any mother to be, surround yourself with healthy people to fellowship with, it's critical to do so for preparing your mindset for your own experience in motherhood. For any mother who might have been bitter or rude towards a new mother, seek God for your healing, allow Him to search you and to take out all that isn't of Him. I don't care where you are or how you got here, change is accessible to you and you've got little eyes watching and learning from everything you say and do. Let them see and hear you trusting and clinging onto the Father. Read this as many times as you need to for a reminder, write down the tips and be sure to look into those scriptures, share with another mother in Christ or with another mother regardless. You're doing a good job, now go out and do a great job!

As Always: Stay Blessed & Encouraged