Overcoming Self Destructive Tendencies

How are you doing mentally?

Hello Kingdom Sisters & Brothers, prepare yourselves for this one. Often times you'll see things like "don't play with God" or "How can you do this or that when you don't even do XYZ" Well, usually when we see things like that, there's always someone who comes to our minds. It's always a particular person or certain people even. It's okay, you don't have to admit it to me, you can even keep it to yourself if you want but nothing is hidden from God. Whatever is done, said, or even thought about behind closed doors is always being done in front of God's eyes. That's very intimidating isn't it? If you sit here and say no then I truly hope you realize that the Word of God says that true wisdom comes from fearing God.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding. Proverbs 9:10

Not only that but your flesh must truly be out of control to not be afraid of the very One who knows all of the things that you try to hide and can see right through your religious front. Now then, when we see think of others in a certain matter, HOW DARE WE? How are we so eager and almost happy to have a "mhm that's them" moment? Are we really so tangled up in our own insecurities that we have to put them onto someone else just for the sake of appearing happy? So then I ask you, how are you doing mentally? What are you feeding your mind about those who labor among you? Did you forget about how that particular person used to pray for you consistently? Did you forget how much they poured into you without taking any credit of doing so? Where is your mind at when you decide to falsely testify against your neighbor just for the sake of having someone on "your side." I thought that we were all after one common goal, to hear "Well Done" at the end of it all. Now don't take this in as a self bashing session, you've been there, I've been there, there's someone reading this right now that is currently there and guess what, YOU DON'T HAVE TO STAY THAT WAY! You don't have to pull on other people to look down on someone else just for the sake of making your flesh feel better. So again I ask, how are we truly doing mentally if we're always so worried about others in an unhealthy matter? Unhealthy as in gossiping, tearing down their name just because they did something you didn't like. Coming down on their character just because you don't like the way others love them and you want to change that. Then there are those who will pretend to be the victim just for the sake of again having someone on "their side." Now is truly not the time to be divided because there are too many people out here who don't know that Jesus Christ is Lord and to have feuds and quarrels in the Body of Christ is getting us nowhere. If any of this applies to you, then there are probably some self destructive tendencies within you but don't worry, it's possible to overcome and release them. How do I know? Because I've been through it.

When imaginary injustices take place...

Now that we've got that question rolling around in our heads of how we're mentally doing, keep this in mind as well before answering it. When asking yourself that question, know that it's people in your mind that have truly labored with you. They were the ones who prayed with and for you even before you asked. They're the ones who pray for you on the daily basis without you even knowing because they're aware that it's necessary. These are the ones who probably couldn't always be there whenever you called or texted but they always made sure to give you whatever the Holy Ghost gave them to tell you. They're the ones who insisted on telling you he truth even when it stung, the ones who gave you correction when you thought you weren't doing anything wrong. They were the ones who didn't broadcast your issues but instead chose to truly give them to God in a prayer like they said they would. You saw the fruit of it each time. It's funny how the enemy will try to make our minds change the view of the very ones who are actually good to us. Now of course you might want to rear up and say "well what about the ones who did me dirty?!" "What about the ones who don't always check on me?!" "What about the ones who aren't as close to me as they are to others?!" When these questions pop up within us, firstly they come from our flesh, secondly our unforgiving ways are showing, and lastly, there are those who do you wrong. Now just know that there are also those who truly have good intentions for you but because they aren't handling you as they do someone else, your mind creates an imaginary ought. Your view of them becomes clouded by your own pain. This all can make you feel as if an injustice is being done and that you have a point to prove. Listen, when REAL injustices happen, God handles it, when imagining injustices for the sake making yourself  feel better happens, nothing shifts because it's a mind thing! Yes, there are people around us who don't have our best interests at heart. Those are the ones who simply don't care if what you're doing is right or wrong. Those are the ones who are quick to pick sides rather than give you what the Holy Ghost is saying. They're the ones who would rather appease your flesh than tell you what the Word says so that you can grow. They rather encourage what you used to be than build up who you are today and just know that it's not always obvious. Sometimes they're subtle with it. We all know that a little can go a long way and before you know it, bitterness, unforgiving thoughts, and more begin to surface. So before answering how you're doing mentally when it pertains to how you view a certain person or people, you have to take in the truth of each one. How can you differ between the genuine ones and the ones who ACT genuine...well that is always answered with where you are in your relationship with God!

Is this just a "religious front" or am I really in love with God?

Knowing where you are in your relationship with God is very critical to how far you'll go when it comes down to discerning and so much more. Sadly, some of us fall into thinking that if everyone around us is doing a certain thing then they should just do the same in order to fit in. Stay with me here because it mainly happens in churches with people who aren't really there for what they should be there for. People will observe others praising and worshiping God intensely and because it looks so good, they'll do the same. They'll break out into a dance, they'll portray an image of truly having a relationship with God but as soon as they get home, their flesh can barely breathe and they yank that mask right on off. You may be reading this and wonder about the ones who truly do have relationship but they have troublesome areas, well dear reader, THAT'S EVERYONE! Everyone has an area that they struggle with, that's why Jesus is so important. But with the ones who put on a front, they literally have the intent of only looking the part in front of certain ones because they think it's necessary when obviously it's not. Can they be set free from this? ABSOLUTELY! Can anyone make them get freedom, no, only if they're willing. The Holy Ghost can convict them though but we know that God won't make us do anything because of free will but when we truly desire for His will to be done, that's when we can follow through with His plans. If you feel as though you're portraying a religious front, you can break free from that! Call and seek good counsel. 

Plans succeed through good counsel; don't go to war without wise advice. Proverbs 20:18

After doing so and or if you can't immediately seek good counsel, look within yourself and truly see why you feel the need to portray a certain image in front of others rather than just being wrapped up in God for real. Again, we ALL have troublesome areas but only you can make the decision in whether or not you want to be in love with God. How can you even get to that point? Look back on the things that have taken place in your life over time. Every time you woke up, that was Him giving you another chance, every time you went through a traumatic experience, He was there just waiting for you to turn to Him to receive your healing. Every time you came close to death or falling off the deep end in your mess, there was always someone popping up at the right time. Even though they didn't say much about Jesus, they gave you a ride when neither of you knew that you would've been robbed while walking home. Someone gave you money out of nowhere when you were on your last dollar and you didn't know how you would keep the lights on. All of this and much more was the evidence that God has always looked out for you. All of this and more will remind you of the goodness of God and your love for Him will surely grow!

I know I have to look but I'm afraid of what I'll see...

I don't care what kind of sugar coated candy piece you've been tasting but the only way to truly grow is to examine yourself. Not just the obvious flaws that even others could point out, but the stuff within that goes BEYOND the surface. You want to refrain from these self destructive tendencies? Then you have to be willing to look within your "hard to look at" areas. When doing so, you don't just find out what was holding you back but you find out how and why it has such a pull on you. You'll begin to find the old roots of why you react a certain way and how it controls your attitude towards others. You'll discover that maybe you did have unresolved trauma that you really didn't let go of. You may even receive healing when you dive into why you're going through what you're going through. I'm not saying that overcoming your tendencies will be easy, I'm not saying it will be fast, I'm not even saying that you'll never have to bring it up again because as a believer, you'll have to. It's not just about us, the things we experience, endure, and come out of are for others who need to know that it's possible for them to be free. You may even read this thinking that a step by step guide wasn't provided. Well, this was really designed for us to truly look at ourselves. Quick fixes only gives us temporary results. Examining the problems fully gives us time to come up with an effective strategy that'll give us long lasting solutions. You have the ability to be better than who you were yesterday. You have the ability to get free from self destruction and to go tell someone else that freedom is available to them! It all begins with you!

As Always: Stay Blessed & Encouraged