Protecting Your Marriage

Once you have become one...

When you get married to your significant other, you become one with them and once you become one with them, there are certain things that you take on. When you wait on God (if it is in His plan for you to be married) He will place you with someone who fits to you like a glove. Many of us may hear this and think "wow, I'm going to get a perfect marriage because I have the perfect match." Well the thing is, when waiting on God, He will give you what you need instead of giving you what you thought you wanted. In the beginning stages of marriage, you begin to take down all the walls you had up and you begin to want to please the Lord with what He would have you to do in the marriage. What I mean is, the husbands getting respect from their wives by being the head of the household and the wives gaining love by submitting to their husbands. Ladies, please note that this ONLY applies to married couples, don't submit to a man that isn't your husband in order to achieve a ring. Now then, when those walls get taken down, it's up to you and your spouse to walk in holiness within your marriage. Sometimes there are still things that you have to get delivered from and it may seem hectic but once you become free, it's up to you to maintain that freedom. In the Body of Christ, once husband and wife become one, you will take on the things that come with them. Husbands are the head of the household for a reason, when you have a TRUE man of God for a husband who knows his calling, you WILL be equipped to handle the anointing that comes along with him. Many men and women beg the Lord to send them a husband or wife but the very ones they have their eyes on have a too powerful anointing to handle. In a godly marriage, it is important that both you and your spouse know who you are in Christ and build your home up as one, not only for your children to come but for many others who may look to you to see how marriage operates. Once you become one with someone who God has given you, you have everything that they need and vice versa. Sure there are tough times but God wouldn't put you with someone who couldn't handle the calling on your life. THIS IS WHY YOU NEED TO WAIT ON THE LORD'S PLAN AND NOT YOUR OWN!

Be mindful of you who connect with...

When you're married, it is extremely important to be mindful of who you connect with. Yes, as a believer in Christ, it's important to watch who you connect with anyway, it's just that the backlash is 20 times harder when you are married. When it comes down to certain people, you truthfully and honestly have to examine who you allow into your space. Don't read this thinking that if you're married you can't have friends, this is false. You have to be around people who encourage and support your marriage because they know that God is in it. Certain people will only come around you to scope you and your spouse out. In my experience, this has happened a lot, but because of how I carry myself, those individuals believe that I don't catch what they do. What I mean by them scoping you and your spouse out is, they'll try to find a tiny crack or slip up within one of you to either get too comfortable in your space or to have a reason to respect one spouse and not the other. Often times you can easily spot individuals who operate like this without them even saying a word to you. You have to have discernment on the people who try to connect with you. Now this isn't saying that everyone out there wants you or your spouse but there are both women and men out there who think they can have you or your spouse. Loneliness, if given time to build up, will create dangerous imaginations within people's minds and it'll make them act a certain way. Strive to have people around you who lift both you and your spouse up in a HOLY prayer. Have people around you who RESPECT both you and your spouse. Favoritism among people will try to come against you and your spouse which is why it is important to discern who you hang around. Be mindful of bitter people with hidden motives. They may seem nice to you up front but behind closed doors, they tear your name down because they can't believe that you're the one who is married and they aren't. I've experienced this multiple times and it's not to put myself on a high horse at all because Lord knows I wouldn't have ANYTHING that I have now if it wasn't for Him. Being mindful of who you connect with is a key step to protecting your marriage because as we all know the DEVIL hates marriage. Some people are out to destroy your marriage and half the time they don't even know that they are being used by the enemy. And sometimes they know that what they're doing is wrong but because of their flesh, they could care less.

Don't hide to vent, run to God and REPENT!

When you are married in the Body of Christ, it's important to watch the words that you speak when concerning your spouse ESPECIALLY when you are going through tough times or you both may not be seeing eye to eye at the moment. In the world, venting is highly promoted but venting can get you into a lot of trouble when concerning your spouse. Now, remember how I stated before that God will send you someone who's anointing/calling you can handle and to watch those you connect with? Well, this is very very very important. During the rainy days within your marriage, it is extremely important to NOT run to just anyone and vent because honey, anyone can be an ear to talk into but trust me it'll backfire on you. See when you have a married man of God who has a calling on his life and is a leader, you can't run to Sally Mae and Susan Pea about your marital issues. You know what will happen if you do? It'll cause those who are looking at your husband as a leader to view him differently and the same people that he was assigned to lead will fall back and try to shift how others view him as well. When you go to people venting about what you may think is just a talk session, that ear that is so willing to listen is releasing all of your business and or storing up ammo when you might offend them one day. When you don't watch who you connect with, you'll BLINDLY befriend those who are NO GOOD  for your marriage and they'll only become a "good friend" when something goes wrong in your marriage. Some people are literally waiting for you to spill all the beans on the things you may be worrying about. You may be over whatever your spouse did at the end of the day, but that ear that was so eager to listen and spill all your business will keep a certain image of your spouse in their minds for a long time. In order to protect your marriage from this, when there are hard days within your marriage, first you need to go to God and repent for anything that you might have said, thought of or done that wasn't pleasing to Him regardless of who was right or wrong. Then if there was something that your spouse has done that you didn't like or got on your nerves, release that to God, not in a complaining matter but just let Him know through prayer what tried to offend you. Then be sure to forgive your spouse and to remove anything that is not of God from you and your spouse. Lastly search yourself and examine how you handled the situation before and if the problem or another rainy day pops up, you can approach it differently. Venting sessions opens the doors to nosey gossipers and allows them to speak on your marriage. Most of the time, they don't speak life when they speak against you or your spouse. Be sure to seek counsel by who the Holy Ghost leads you to which will most likely be a married couple or married leaders who are walking in a holy marriage. Not saying that these people are perfect but they actually KNOW what your are experiencing because they have gone through the same thing. Just make sure you listen to the Holy Ghost and not your feelings and emotions.

Protection at it's best...

In closing, I need you all (myself and husband included) to be mindful of what you allow into your space, including your homes, your eye gates and ear gates. Not everyone can come into your home because they may be harboring all of their problems to you and their problems will try to latch on to things within your home then you'll be stuck wondering why you and your spouse are going through more than what you should be. Watch out for certain things that you watch on tv and allow to come through your ears, the enemy will try to set you up with whatever you used to be weak too and he'll try to give you chances to create ungodly doors and cracks that can not only ruin your marriage but ruin your spiritual walk as well. Only YOU know the things that try to get you back to who you used to be so watch out for those very things trying to resurface or lure you into sinful action or thinking. Guard yourselves and pray around your household in the spirit CONSTANTLY, cover your spouse and your marriage on the daily basis. Bind up and rebuke any hidden residue. Sometimes you've got to get up late during warfare hours (12-4am) to fight the enemy through prayer. Let the Holy Ghost guide you to scriptures to speak over yourself and your spouse. Protect your marriage and you'll see the sun drying up the rain, but if there is still days where the rain hits, hold the umbrella together.

As Always: Stay Blessed & Encouraged