Time To Resume Your Post!
Moments. We all have them, whether they be tough, long, good, sad, or weak. We all have moments but it is up to us whether or not we stay in those moments. We are about to dive into the moments of weakness and how they can knock us off course.
During weak moments, it can be different for everyone. Some people have moments where they just forget about everything that God has done for them and promised them. Some people may go as far as to return to their own vomit (Proverbs 26:11) and indulge in the sin that they were delivered from. Others can have moments where they completely fall off the post (as in praying, fasting, and reading the Word of God and speaking life). This is the category that I had fallen into briefly. As you all know, I recently became a mother and I love our son dearly, figuring out how to be a mother can be a shock at first. Things change once a child comes into play because you have a little one who is completely depending on you 24/7. So for me, it was such a rocky start, on top of trying to get through getting little amounts of sleep and figuring out the things my son likes and dislikes, I began to put God on the back burner. This wasn't intentional at all, but soon it became intentional in a way because I began to use my son as an excuse. An excuse that I leaned on as in to why I wasn't praying during the day or speaking life, or even reading the Bible like I used to. Now, of course, I knew that motherhood wasn't going to be a walk in the park, any and everyone knows that, but I fell off my post. Some people may read this and say that it's okay that I wasn't reading the Bible daily or praying but to me it wasn't okay and that is my own personal conviction. It wasn't okay and it began to show. I was popping off more, feeling weak and drained. Now, stay with me, I know that being a mother will drain you, but on top of that, when you aren't on your post of being a believer and guarding yourself up, you are opened for attacks from the enemy as well. So take being drained from newborn days to being attacked, not a pretty sight. It's even worse because we set ourselves up when we don't guard ourselves and how do we do that? By praying, fasting, reading the Word and through fellowship. But see, when you first give birth to a baby, they don't get their shots to protect them from the dangers of outside until the 6 week marks and this meant that I had to stay home with our son.
Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy bonding with my baby, the days are much better now that I'm on guard but before, it was a huge storm and here's why. When we are weak, we gain strength through fellowship and the main fellowship that I was used to getting was from going to bible studies, sunday services, prayer nights and just hanging out with my brothers and sisters in Christ during ministry moments, events, or just chilling. But because I had to stay home with our son, I couldn't do those things which meant fellowship went out the window and I grew weaker and weaker. I began to internalize every moment of my son crying, just kept taking it in. I would want to just hold him and hold him but when everything was fine with him and he was crying just to be crying and I had to let him be. Now, when I would take it all in, I wasn't praying or reading the Word and I already was feeling weak because of the lack of fellowship. You would think I would be running to prayer and reading the Word but at first, I didn't. I have a very supportive husband, more than people will ever know. There were so many times that I wanted to just give up and give into the attacks that were being sent my way but every time I got upset or grew tired and weak, my husband kept reminded me that I could do this and that I knew who to call on. He told me I knew that I needed to pray and speak life. He began to encourage me and when I rested he took care of our son. One day, it finally clicked, I had to resume my post.
With being in the house with my little one day in and day out (minus doctor visits) I had to resume my post. In doing so, I literally had to take it one day at a time. Slowly but surely, I began to find ways to get my strength back. It was still too early to bring our son out around people, I had to run to prayer, and the Word of God just how I used to. Taking it a day at a time, at first it was tough to even pray, it was as if I couldn't pray in spirit which is something to do on the daily basis (Ephesians 6:18) in order to stay guarded up and strong in Him. Now, we all know that it's the enemy's goal to shut our praise down and keep our mouths closed but God. In little moments, I had to literally push myself to pray even though my flesh was weak! Sometimes you have to praise and worship Him when you don't feel like it. In order to push through your time of weakness, or whatever it is that may be going on with you, the push is necessary. With the push, I began to resume to my post, I began to run to prayer and say Jesus more and more around the house. Next, I began to return to leaning on the Word of God. Sometimes it can be hard knowing where to start so first I began a Bible plan on the Bible app that matched with my situation, then I began to read a psalms, proverbs, romans, and gospel a day. I took it day by day. I felt my strength coming back and I began to have better days with my son and I stopped internalizing the cries. Not only was I gaining my strength back but I was also gaining peace and joy back because God will give you peace when you keep your mind stayed on Him. Now, I'm not sitting here claiming to have motherhood all figured out because I won't ever have it figured out, I'll only know what works best for us and our son. A valuable lesson that I have learned is that I can't place God on the back burner because it makes me not okay and when I'm not okay, that can fall on our son and he wouldn't be okay either.
During my pregnancy, I was still very active in being on my post, I still went to church all I wanted and I read the Bible to my son while he was in the womb, I prayed certain scriptures over him and my pregnancy was very easy going. Just because he is finally out doesn't mean that that all comes to an end. My goal is to train up my child as best as I can (Proverbs 22:6) I want him to be better than I ever was and it all starts at the beginning and by leading as an example. There will be smooth days and there will be rough days but on our rough days we can't forget who is in control and we cannot forget who we are in Him! While I have been here with our son, one thing that spoke volumes to me was this. I had to stay away from church because my son was too young to come out and I was getting attacked left and right but I can't even imagine the kinds of attacks that hit others when they choose to stay away from church just because they don't feel like going or they believe they can't gain rest when attending. This exposes the true hearts of people. Yes, we are the church, also too though, when you have access to a place where you know God moves, there's your rest & strength right there. What does this say about your heart for the King? How can you expect to receive the same blessing as someone else who's been pushing their way to church even when they didn't feel like and you've just been half going and staying away because you're tired. Again, this exposes the truthfulness within our hearts and it puts a painfully obvious display of how foul the flesh is. Die to self daily. I can't wait to get back to the building, but for now, I will make sure that I don't lack in prayer and reading the Word of God for myself and over my son. It's time to resume the post. What are you doing to stay on guard?
As Always: Stay Blessed & Encouraged
Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy bonding with my baby, the days are much better now that I'm on guard but before, it was a huge storm and here's why. When we are weak, we gain strength through fellowship and the main fellowship that I was used to getting was from going to bible studies, sunday services, prayer nights and just hanging out with my brothers and sisters in Christ during ministry moments, events, or just chilling. But because I had to stay home with our son, I couldn't do those things which meant fellowship went out the window and I grew weaker and weaker. I began to internalize every moment of my son crying, just kept taking it in. I would want to just hold him and hold him but when everything was fine with him and he was crying just to be crying and I had to let him be. Now, when I would take it all in, I wasn't praying or reading the Word and I already was feeling weak because of the lack of fellowship. You would think I would be running to prayer and reading the Word but at first, I didn't. I have a very supportive husband, more than people will ever know. There were so many times that I wanted to just give up and give into the attacks that were being sent my way but every time I got upset or grew tired and weak, my husband kept reminded me that I could do this and that I knew who to call on. He told me I knew that I needed to pray and speak life. He began to encourage me and when I rested he took care of our son. One day, it finally clicked, I had to resume my post.
With being in the house with my little one day in and day out (minus doctor visits) I had to resume my post. In doing so, I literally had to take it one day at a time. Slowly but surely, I began to find ways to get my strength back. It was still too early to bring our son out around people, I had to run to prayer, and the Word of God just how I used to. Taking it a day at a time, at first it was tough to even pray, it was as if I couldn't pray in spirit which is something to do on the daily basis (Ephesians 6:18) in order to stay guarded up and strong in Him. Now, we all know that it's the enemy's goal to shut our praise down and keep our mouths closed but God. In little moments, I had to literally push myself to pray even though my flesh was weak! Sometimes you have to praise and worship Him when you don't feel like it. In order to push through your time of weakness, or whatever it is that may be going on with you, the push is necessary. With the push, I began to resume to my post, I began to run to prayer and say Jesus more and more around the house. Next, I began to return to leaning on the Word of God. Sometimes it can be hard knowing where to start so first I began a Bible plan on the Bible app that matched with my situation, then I began to read a psalms, proverbs, romans, and gospel a day. I took it day by day. I felt my strength coming back and I began to have better days with my son and I stopped internalizing the cries. Not only was I gaining my strength back but I was also gaining peace and joy back because God will give you peace when you keep your mind stayed on Him. Now, I'm not sitting here claiming to have motherhood all figured out because I won't ever have it figured out, I'll only know what works best for us and our son. A valuable lesson that I have learned is that I can't place God on the back burner because it makes me not okay and when I'm not okay, that can fall on our son and he wouldn't be okay either.
During my pregnancy, I was still very active in being on my post, I still went to church all I wanted and I read the Bible to my son while he was in the womb, I prayed certain scriptures over him and my pregnancy was very easy going. Just because he is finally out doesn't mean that that all comes to an end. My goal is to train up my child as best as I can (Proverbs 22:6) I want him to be better than I ever was and it all starts at the beginning and by leading as an example. There will be smooth days and there will be rough days but on our rough days we can't forget who is in control and we cannot forget who we are in Him! While I have been here with our son, one thing that spoke volumes to me was this. I had to stay away from church because my son was too young to come out and I was getting attacked left and right but I can't even imagine the kinds of attacks that hit others when they choose to stay away from church just because they don't feel like going or they believe they can't gain rest when attending. This exposes the true hearts of people. Yes, we are the church, also too though, when you have access to a place where you know God moves, there's your rest & strength right there. What does this say about your heart for the King? How can you expect to receive the same blessing as someone else who's been pushing their way to church even when they didn't feel like and you've just been half going and staying away because you're tired. Again, this exposes the truthfulness within our hearts and it puts a painfully obvious display of how foul the flesh is. Die to self daily. I can't wait to get back to the building, but for now, I will make sure that I don't lack in prayer and reading the Word of God for myself and over my son. It's time to resume the post. What are you doing to stay on guard?
As Always: Stay Blessed & Encouraged
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