Dear Mothers In Christ..

You're a mother regardless of your social status...

Many may think that the kind of mother you are is defined by your social status, well frankly this just isn't the case. You are a mother regardless of your social status. Whether you are single, courting, married, a SAHM (stay at home mom), working mom, pumping, nursing, or a formula feeding mom, you are still a MOTHER. You still sacrifice your sleep, time, food, energy, and a whole lot more to make sure that your child or children are taken care of and provided for and most importantly..loved! The amount of a mother is not defined by who she is to the world, it is defined by her will and strength to keep going no matter what the situation is with her child or children. Now it is sad to say but there are competitive mothers out there who think that they can out parent their neighbor but when you come to Christ, the game changes immediately and you are now working twice as hard to protect the little one because they are extremely vulnerable. When you come to Christ whether or not you have had your child or children before doing so or after, you've been washed by the blood of the lamb and your children have been covered by His grace and mercy. This doesn't mean that things can calm down, this means that you have to fight twice as hard to keep your child or children covered. There is purpose on your child's life and the enemy already can't stand the fact that you came to Christ so now he wants your little ones. The push to keep going in your walk with Christ is highly sensitive when you have children because whatever is at the head flows down to the tail. If you are not married then you are the head and whatever you do, think, speak, or say can and will have an effect on your child and or children. As mothers we all know that once you have a child it's not about you anymore, well that's the same way with walking with Christ when your children are young and growing up. You have to stay praying, stay fasting, and stay reading the Word of God because you have little eyes that are watching you 24/7 365 and we all know that children can pick up on things QUICKLY. Regardless of who you are, you have some major work to do.

You never know until you're in the thick of it..

With recently becoming a mother myself, I can honestly say that you never truly know how hard motherhood is until you are in the thick of it yourself and before you say you have had experience with baby sitting and watching your siblings, trust me girl, it's a whole new world. I can say this because I used to count on my skills because I used to baby sit kids and I used to watch my siblings sometimes but here's the thing about motherhood: it doesn't end. If you've ever had to watch or take care of your brothers and sisters then it's always for a few hours or whenever your parent or whoever came home. If you ever baby sat or work in a day care, you only have to tend to the child or children and then you get to go home. If you have ever had children stay at your home, in the end of their stay, they get to go home. With motherhood, you don't get to "go home" as in, you don't get to pass off your child to anyone at the end of the day. You're in it 24/7 365. Now of course you may have days where you can find a baby sitter or close friends to watch your kids but after that, it's back to a constant business. Your child is yours meaning they will always need YOU and when they always need you (or your spouse if you're married but mainly you haha) it can become so draining even though you love your children, the exhausting levels that come with motherhood whether you are a single mom or not, can be extremely high. When you become a mother for yourself, you look at everything differently especially with how you used to look at mothers. You begin to learn that whether or not you prepared, it's still extremely unpredictable and no matter how many books or apps you read and or follow, your child is unique and whatever works for you, works for you. You never know how hard it is when you are in the thick of it for yourself but guess what? Your child or children should be your motivation to push harder for Christ and not an excuse to give up on your faith!

Children: Your motivation to keep going, not an excuse to give up..

Mama, I get it, you are tired, all of us mamas are whether we are in the new born stage, toddler stage, teenager stage or even all of the above at the same time, you are tired but guess what? God didn't bring you this far for nothing. There is still purpose on your life, you still have a story that is being written even now, you still have a ministry inside of you and you still have a task to carry out to bring glory to the Father. But how can you do these things and fulfill your purpose if you are using your children as an excuse to give up? I don't mind using myself as an example because as you all have heard me say before, I'm not the one who paints a perfect picture because that doesn't help the next person. I've had my fair shares of getting bothered and tired and upset when it comes down to motherhood and I'm only a new mom, my son is about to be 7 months. Of course, a lot people tell me to just wait until I hit the toddler years and beyond but the thing is, I used to be in a place where I pretty much questioned God. I asked Him why me? Why now? I did these things because I didn't feel prepared or even qualified to take care of my son or to even be a mother. But how many of us know that He doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called! So all of this doubt and questioning God mainly took place during my son's fresh out the womb phase. My family was far away, some friends came to help when they could and my husband would care for our son also but we all know that the main load of everything is easily placed on the mother and sometimes the village isn't always there to help. During this time, I was still trying to get used to the change of everything, my sleep was always crashed by crying, had moments where I wouldn't hear from anyone, my body went through changes and on top of that I had no idea what I was doing. I had my fair share of complaining and wondering how could I get through this and during this time, I wasn't fighting back. I was letting horrible thoughts run wild, I wasn't reaching out to anyone, I wasn't praying and not only did I suffer but so did my son. He wasn't getting the best out of me and one day I had to stop throwing a pity party. I had to stop blaming everything on motherhood and I had to start fighting back. I had to start realizing that I was in this position for a reason (my husband and I walk by faith and we strongly believe that everything happens for a reason) It took a long time and sometimes even today, I may stumble to complaining or getting upset but I now know that I can't stay the same, I cannot allow the enemy to have his way. Motherhood is hard work and it takes a person who gets their strength from the Lord to keep going. I used to say that I couldn't pray or read the word because I was wrapped up in my son but I noticed a huge difference compared to when I was doing what I was supposed to do instead of drowning myself in pity. Even though babies and well kids in general are a lot, I began to have better days, and now my son and I have an extremely tight bond. I say this to say that no matter how hard it gets for you or how lonely or invisible you may feel, God will never leave nor forsaken you. You have what it takes to raise your child or children. Parenthood is not for the wimps (yes I am aware that there are some horrible parents out there though). My son is one of the many reasons why I strive to be a better person than I was the day before because he's watching and learning from me and his father. Don't use your children as an excuse to fall off course mama!

Don't worry about your friends, the real ones are always there for you..

As mothers it can be hard to maintain friendships but as we all know, it is extremely important to do so because you don't want to just be on your own during motherhood. Your real friends, the ones who are like family to you begin to show up when you become a mother. I had to learn that even though they can't always be around doesn't mean that they love me or my son any less. My village, the friends that are like family to me, truly have been there for not just my son but for me as well. Each of them have their own nickname and things with my son and those little things encourage me, they let me know that I'm not in this on my own and it also lets me know that there are genuine people in my life that my son gets to grow up around. Now ladies, when it comes to certain people and our children, I realize that we have to make sure WHO we have around them. Not everyone who wants to hold your baby or see them has your best interest at heart which is why you must discern who can have access to your little one and who simply just can't. I used to be a very soft spoken person and I wasn't big on confrontation but when you have a baby, people will just try to do whatever they want which simply won't slide. I can say that it has really shaped me into a more bold person. People with hidden motive always expose themselves in more ways than one which is why you must pay attention to who you allow to see, touch, and be around your child. Now then, with the real friends in your life, it's funny and at the same time heart warming to see them being just as protective and loving towards your child. All in all, it's important to have genuine people in your life because they will make things go just a bit smoother in the craziness of being a parent in general.

You never lost your body, you just upgraded Mama..

As believers in Christ, we know that we were created in God's image and honestly, after becoming a mother and having body changes, it can be hard to keep that in mind. Some mommies go right back to how they used to be while others change for good while others struggle with even looking in the mirror most days. Motherhood changes your appearance whether it be small things that only you can see or big things that others can see but guess what, you're still beautiful and you were still created in His image. The only snap back that I was worried about when I had my son was snapping my mind back to Christ. Once you have a new and improved mindset, you can do anything. If you are a mother who may cringe a little bit at your postpartum body then just take a look at your child or children as a reminder of what your body was ABLE TO DO. There are so many women out here who are praying for the chance to have a little one of their own. So keep in mind that you were ABLE to do this and that you and your baby are both ALIVE and HEALTHY. The more you begin to be grateful, the more your mindset about your body will change. Of course this isn't an overnight thing (I still have my moments) but as long as you're trying then it's a good start. All in all, motherhood is tough but God is bigger and when you lean on Him for everything, He will guide you in how to keep fighting in order to protect and care for your little one. I hope this was helpful to any mom out there. You are not alone mama and you are not here by mistake, you've got this because God has your back!

As Always: Stay Blessed & Encouraged